Risky Business
by Tunnel-Visionary
Summary: She couldn't believe she was doing this. She could not believe he had just waltzed in here and gotten what he wanted. Again. … He always gets what he wants, and she always gives it to him, but this was just ridiculous. Unfinished, in-hiatus.
1. Ridiculous Requests

She couldn't believe she was doing this. She couldn't believe he had just waltzed in here and gotten what he wanted. Again. She was use to his other mindless and sometimes ingenious requests… He always gets what he wants, and she was just indulging his every whim.

But this was just ridiculous.

"_It wouldn't even be a big deal! It would just be two grown adults that, please don't let me forget to remember, have TONS of pent up tension in our weird… friendship. It would be good for both of us, free sex for me and sex for you!" House limped behind her out of the elevator in which they had been standing towards her office. "I know you're long over due for a check up, Dr. Cuddy."_

_He smirked as she turned to glare at him._

"_Come get me at eight."_

_Had he not seen her office door slam he would have sworn the booming sound produced from it, in actuality, had come from his jaw hitting the floor._

_And had she not been the slammer of the door, she would have sworn it too._

"Yo, Cuddy." House walks in, not bothering to knock, and sinks onto the couch into a perfect Cuddy watching spot. "You ready to get your groove on?"

"House, I'm starting to rethink-"

"Cuddy, why would you ever rethink anything? You don't even think well enough the first time you make the attempt, and you're REALLY pushing it with rethinking. You're going to fry your brain, you should be pleased that I was here to save you."

She gives him a heated glare from under a mountain of paperwork. "God, House, how could anyone NOT want to sleep with you and your effortless charm?"

House shrugs and looks towards the heavens. "This may be the greatest puzzle of them all."

Cuddy scoffs and tosses him a few blue files.

After a few moments pause he looks up at her, confusion written all over his face.

"Yeah, I don't understand if this is your idea of foreplay or if you have some weird kinky things in mind…"

"Do you think paperwork is kinky?"

"Is paperwork code for me banging you while you're handcuffed to your chair? Because yes, I think that's pretty kinky."

"Paperwork is not code." She sighs, a small smile trying to stay hidden. "Paper work means you DO your paperwork."

"It's eight pm. I'm off the clock."

"It's eight pm. I'm not in the mood."

He sighs melodramatically and limps over to her desk, bringing the files with him.

"I'm only doing enough to clear the desk. Then I'm going to have to do you on it."

"Right House. Sounds like a deal."

And what a deal it was. God, he never remembered Cuddy being so damn good. He knew she was GOOD, of course, but… wow…

And she had even consented, after much teasing and persuasion, that doing it on the close proximity of her desk was far more appropriate than making him limp all the way over to the couch.

Lisa Cuddy was a surprising woman.

A very surprising woman indeed.


	2. About Last Night

**CH 2: About Last Night**

"Do you always have to have me pay for your lunch?"

"Do you always pay for it?"

Wilson sighed, knowing that any argument he could possibly start with his strong willed friend was going to be futile. "Yes... Yes I do."

"It just makes sense that way." House smirked, settling himself into a table as far away from the rest of the dining doctors and nurses as possible. "Guess what I did last night."

"Hired a hooker. Got stoned. I have no idea what. Tell me." Wilson rolled his eyes and started eating his food, not bothering to look at House or his smug expression as he reads his latest case file. He does, however, look up when House nods towards the entrance of the cafeteria and nonchalantly says, "I totally hit that."

He turns to look, fully expecting a new nurse or one of the hot young interns to walk through the door, but lets his jaw fall open when he catches site of Lisa Cuddy headed straight towards them.

"You did not!"

"Would I lie to you?"

"YES!"

House taped a finger to his chin and pondered this. "This… is true… I would lie to you. I have lied to you. But I'm not lying to you, I tapped that. In her office. It was hot. Be jealous."

Wilson shook his head slowly, mouth still hanging open as Cuddy came to a stop next to their little table.

"Hey Cuddy. You're looking remarkably well endowed today. I hope you didn't wear such a revealing top just for my benefit." House smiled up at her innocently as she glared down at him and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Firstly, I have worn this blouse to work numerous times before, none of those times being for your benefit. Secondly, I need to speak with you privately for a moment."

"You know there is absolutely nothing you can tell me that I won't tell Wilson. Except that one thing…" He looks at Wilson. "I never told you about the time Cuddy had me-"

He was cut off by Cuddy forcefully putting a hand on his shoulder and leaning down to whisper in his ear, "House. Let's. Go."

He smirked at Wilson and stood. "I'll be back buddy, and I promise I won't leave out any details."

House limped after Cuddy who was walking rather absurdly fast for someone who wanted a cripple to keep up with her, and he found her pace to be not only exhausting but also obnoxious. At least the view from behind was one worth watching.

"Shut the door." Cuddy sat at her desk and smoothed her top down as House made his way into her office and obediently closed the door. "Am I in trouble again, ma?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes and motioned for him to have a seat across from her.

"Oh, is this like a game? The boss chastising the naughty doctor? Will you spank me?" He grined at her and slowly les himself sink into the chair, adjusting his leg as soon as he was comfortable. "This is a much better game than 'paperwork'."

"Well, 'paperwork' is exactly what I want to talk about."

House groaned loudly and put his head back against the chair. "This sucks. You got my hopes up for a repeat performance, Cuddy."

She scoffed and gave him a slightly malicious look. "I don't think we should EVER have a repeat performance."

"Oh come on, I KNOW I'm not that bad."

"No, you weren't bad, it was great it's just- I mean we-" She blushed furiously at having let slip how she felt about the actual deed itself. After looking up at House's arrogant smirk she felt herself turn an even deeper shade of red. "What I meant was it was a one time thing. It was good. It worked. There should be no more tension to affect how we work."

"Well, I don't agree." He stood and slowly made his way over to her. "In fact, I think there will always be a lot of tension between us."

"I beg to differ." She pushes her chair back slightly as House slid onto her desk in front of her. "There is no more tension. The tension has dissipated. This is us… without tension."

House grabbed the arms of her chair and slowly pulled her back towards him. "Well if it's not about the tension then how about we just do it for good, free sex?"

"That would be highly unprofessional, House."

He smirked and ever so slowly brought his face close to hers, causing her to press back against her seat and hope to God she had remembered to have a mint after lunch.

"I'm highly unprofessional, Cuddy."

"Not with me, you're not." She forcefully pushed away from the desk and walked towards the door.

"Your desk begs to differ." He grinned, grabbing his cane and heading towards the door that she held open for him, her symbol for, 'You're irritating, get out'.

"I never liked that desk." She smiled, a look of a challenge glinting in her eyes. "Now get out. No more after hours sex for you. At least not from me."

"So that leaves on the clock open, am I right?"

"Get out, House."

He laughed softly and walked out the door, pausing and exclaiming just loud enough for a few nurses to hear, "I know it's difficult, Cuddy, but please stop watching my ass as I walk away. It's terribly unprofessional!"

"Go do your clinic hours."

With that the door slammed and, unknown to each other, both of them grinned.

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"You did have sex with Cuddy!" Wilson exclaimed as House returned to finish his lunch.

"Geez, Wilson, not so loud! Cameron might hear you and be heart broken!"

"I- How, you.. I just-"

"God, Wilson, spit it out, would you?"

"I can't believe she slept with you!"

"Well gee thanks man." House rolled his eyes and snatched a cookie off of Wilson's plate. "I've always got your back, too."

Wilson ignored him and continued, "I mean I always ASSUMED you two would… date or something, but that's so random!"

"You do realize that you sound like a teenage girl, right?" House raises an eyebrow at Wilson who glares as a response. "I mean, no offense, but really…"

"So… what are you two going to do?"

Wilson stared at the puzzled look on House's face.

"What the hell do you mean what are we going to do?"

"Are you going to ask her out or something?"

"Oh, HELL no!" He looked disgusted at even the thought. "Why on earth would I do that? That would be like selling my soul to the devil or becoming Jewish!"

"You do realize that while that made no sense at all it was also highly offensive, right?"

"When will you learn that I don't care?" He picked at his food, far preferring Wilson's choices to his own. "Besides, I couldn't date Cuddy. She's my boss. She has a kid. She's annoying as hell. YOU should date her, she seems perfect for you."

"Yeah, aside from the fact that she isn't."

"Again, you sound like a teenage girl."

Wilson rolled his eyes at him and grabbed his plate before standing and heading towards the trash to toss the remainders of his lunch. "You're an ass."

"You even swish your hips!"

"Go to hell."

House smirked as his fleeing friend and stood to follow him out of the cafeteria.

- - -

Sorry for the lack of anything other than pure story in the last chapter. I'll be writing more authors notes now that I actually think about it.

I also apologize for the lack of anything other than dialogue in this chapter. Script writing has really thrown me out of my narrative abilities.

And just a little information about this fic…

It is written by myself and a few friends of mine who happen to be obsessed with House.

It will contain one or more OCs

It takes place in present House time, however the premise will not change due to anything that occurs on the show from this point.


	3. This Isn't High School

This Isn't High School

"Do you wanna hang out tonight?" House asked, plopping down on Wilson's couch.

"Can't."

House scoffed. "Why? Got a hot date?"

Wilson sat and silently shuffled papers on his desk, not daring to look House in the eye for fear of his ridicule and asinine questioning if he were to say yes. Not that it really mattered, he knew he was in for ridicule and questioning no matter his answer.

"YOU DO!" House quickly stood and limped over to Wilson's desk. "You're going on a date!"

"Yes, House. I am. It's what normal people do, they like someone, they date them. Notice I say normal, because you aren't. You like someone and you harass them until they sleep with you."

"I'm going to ignore that oh so hurtful remark." He smirked at his best friend. "Is she hot?"

"…Yes, she is."

"What does she do?"

"She's… a nurse. From pediatrics."

House's eyes grew wide and he sat himself in a chair. "OH. MY. GOD. So that's why you've been spending so much time down there!"

"Actually it's because I have a patient, House," Wilson rolled his eyes and averted his attention to something else on his desk that had very little importance but made him look rather busy. "And unlike you I TALK to my patients."

"Oh, so she's just an added bonus."

"…Yes?"

"Wait… You've been spending absurd amounts of time down there for about five weeks… You haven't been seeing her that long, have you?"

Wilson sighed and pressed his hands to his forehead, knowing now that he was NEVER going to get any work done until he answered House's questions.

"Two months."

House's jaw dropped mockingly.

"OH. MY. GOD. You're well on your way to claiming the fourth Mrs. Wilson and you don't tell me?!"

"And I'm the teenage girl?" Wilson raised an eyebrow as a smile played at his lips.

"Well, hips don't lie, Wilson. And yours are the swishy type."

"Don't you have work to do?"

"Nope. Haven't had a patient in a week."

"I didn't ask if you had a patient, I asked if you had work to do."

House starred at him, "What else is there to do but cure the incurable?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot that you're above the work of all the rest of us doctors and you don't actually have to do things like clinic or paperwork."

House smirked. "I'm glad you've acknowledged this."

"Go away." Wilson gave him a half-hearted glare and nodded towards the door.

"Tell me more about the fourth Mrs. Wilson. Are you two like, Oh my God, official?"

He was greeted with an intense look of displeasure and confusion, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Answer my question."

"I said we had been dating… We aren't 'official, oh my God.'"

"Why the hell are you talking like a girl again?"

Wilson's glare was one of far more annoyance this time around, "Out. Go bother Cuddy or something."

"Yes sir, Doctor Wilson." House left his office smirking as Wilson thought about how smart his suggestion had been. He shrugged it off and got back to work, after all, what could House do to Cuddy that she wasn't totally use to as it was?

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"Cuddy!" She was startled away from her paper work before he had even entered her office. She groaned and went back to the budget she was looking over as he blundered in.

"I'm in love with you."

Her head snapped up, any ideas she might have had about a fundraiser to benefit the genetics research department gone.

"WHAT?"

"I thought that would get your attention." He smirked and settled himself into a chair across from her. "Wilson said to come bother you."

"Wilson wouldn't tell you to go bother me."

He ignored her and continued, "And so I thought to myself, 'God, what's something that would REALLY bother Cuddy that she hasn't heard before?' I was going to say your house had burned down or your little dumpling had choked, but I figured those are things you would have gotten wind of before me…"

"What the hell do you want, House?"

"Something to do. I'm bored and Foreman's hiding. He's tired of my racist jokes always being directed towards him. I figured if I came down here I could fill my quota for both Jew and anti-feminist slanders in one sitting."

"You're bored?" Cuddy asked, getting up and grabbing a stack of files. She walked over to him quickly and dumped them into his lap. "Clinic. Now."

"Clinic's boring." He whined. "Can't we just have sex instead?"

"House, find something to do."

"Cuddy, I found you already."

"Go. Get out. Go do your ever increasing clinic hours, your paper work that has been building up for half a decade, go harass your team, I don't care, just go so I can get some work done without your idiocy to compensate for."

He starred at her retreating figure as she made her way back around the desk before shoving the files that she had given him back onto her desk.

"I was thinking-"

"Oh my God…" She sighed quietly, placing her head in her hands.

"We should keep having sex. I mean, why not?"

"BECAUSE IT'S UNETHICAL."

"…I don't see your point."

"Of course you don't House," her tone had gone from mildly annoyed to icy cold. "Because the point isn't ever logical unless it benefits you."

"Well, technically it would benefit you, too. Get a good ride every once in awhile and you'd be far more pleasant to work with."

"Can the same be said about you?"

"If I say 'Yes' do I get laid?"

"No."

"Oh. No, then."

"Get out."

"Be rational, for once."

"House," She sighed. "If anyone ISN'T being rational it's you. Think about it, the board already thinks you get special treatment, what if they found out we were sleeping together? Employer-employee relationships don't work."

He scoffed, "I don't want a relationship with you. I just figured two grown, unattached adults could get some good, clean sex and not have to go through the messy business of dating or spending money on prostitutes."

She starred at him, almost unwilling to comprehend the words coming out of his mouth.

"NO."

"All right fine…" He stood and made his way to the door. "Don't come to me when you're all sexually repressed." He paused and thought about that statement. "On second thought, please do. I'll be in my office when you realize that I'm right."

"Get out."

He smirked at her and made his way back towards the elevators, letting her office door slam shut behind him. She groaned and put her head on the desk. That man was impossible.

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A/N: I 3 House/Wilson goodness. =]


	4. Download: Complete

Chapter 4: Download: Complete

(Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. -.-)

"House?" Cuddy knocked softly on his office door as she opened it. "Are you busy?"

"Cuddy, it's ten in the morning on a case-less Friday. What could I possibly be doing other than downloading porn and counting down the hours until my weekend starts?"

She scoffed and made her way over to his desk, leaning against it a safe distance away from him.

"I was thinking about what you said the other day."

He looked over at her as she quickly looked at the floor, her hands fidgeting with her necklace.

"…How you look like you've put on a few pounds? Or how you should invest in a pair of Daisy Dukes?"

She turned and gave him an apathetic glare, "No, House. What you said about us… and having sex… And you're right. We're both respons- we're both adults, we're… professionals, we've been friends for years and we trust each other, for the most part."

An almost sick smile spread across House's face as he leaned back in his chair, quite proud of himself for being able to, yet again, get what he wanted out of Cuddy. "This mean we can do it right now?"

"No."

"Cuddddyyy!" He whined. She almost laughed at his puppy dog face as he clasped his hands together in a begging manner and leaned towards her. "It's not nice to tease, Dr. Cuddy! You're a mean, mean lady."

"And YOU are a very silly, over excitable boy." She scoffs. "No sex at work."

"Wait, there are RULES?!"

"Of course there are rules!"

"I want no part in this."

She rolled her eyes, "That so? You're going to turn down free sex, House?" She leaned in towards him and touched his face lightly as she brought her lips dangerously close to his, "Sex… with me?"

He narrowed his eyes at her and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Tease."

She pulled back and stood up, smoothing her skirt out as she walked towards the door. "I can get Rachel an over night sitter on Wednesdays and Fridays. You're free those nights, right?"

"God, mood kill, talking about your little parasite."

"House."

"Yes I'm free… When am I ever doing anything?"

"I don't know." She shrugged, smirked and pulled open the door, "I thought maybe Wednesdays were date nights with Wilson."

"Dates with Wilson are always subject to change."

"Depending upon?"

"Sex. Duh."

"Oh." She rolled her eyes. "I'm so glad your schedule is so flexible."

"I'm glad you're so flexible."

"Grow up, House."

He grins, "Never."

She laughed softly and let herself out of his office, her annoyed but amused smile lasting until she returned to the constant bore of her office. House watched her walk away until she had passed the glass separating himself from the rest of the moronic hospital before grabbing his phone and dialing Wilson.

"What the hell, House? Your office is right next door!"

"Wilson, need I remind you one small step for you is one walk of hell for me?"

He sighed, "I'm sorry. What do you want."

"Come over. The back door's open."

"…Are you not in your office?"

"Well I'm not at home, am I? Do I have a back door?"

"So you're just being an ass and not telling me what you want to tell me over the phone, and in a second you're going to hang up and just wait for curiosity to overwhelm me until I come see you?"

House pulled his legs onto his desk and grabbed his Vicodin out of his pocket, "You know," He said, throwing to pills into his mouth, "That sounds like a really good idea. I'll see you in a second."

"Wait, House, just tell m-"

House dropped the phone into its cradle and turned his attention to the door, knowing that any second Wilson would rush in to see him.

"What do you want?" He walked in, arms crossed, a less than believable scowl plastered on his face.

"Hello to you too, dear. I've just had the best day at work, how was yours?"

"House, really. I have a patient coming in in ten minutes."

"Oh this won't take ten minutes." House laughed. "Well, it might, knowing you. You'll want to analyze and rationalize and generally annoy me with your outlandish assumptions."

Wilson raised an eyebrow, "That sounds a lot more like you."

"Only in a medical situation. You're all over that in anything personal."

"Oh so it's personal? Hurry up and tell me, I don't have time for this."

"Cuddy wants me to do her." He smirked as Wilson's jaw fell open.

"AGAIN?"

"Every Wednesday and Friday… I think that's what she said, anyway. Then she said something about Cuddy Jr and I tuned her out."

"Wow…"

"Ah, here comes the rationalization…"

"Cuddy just made you her booty call."

House's smile faded quickly and he snapped his head towards Wilson. "…That's not funny."

Wilson laughed, "It's TRUE."

House scowled. "It's more of a mutual agreement that we both want it and the best place to get it is from each other."

"Yeah…" He nods, giving House a grin. "Booty call."

"Get out."

"Why does that upset you? Do you not want it to be? Do you want it to be more?"

"No." He glares. "I want you to stop saying booty call. I'll go down to pediatrics and announce that you're gay for me if you don't."

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Stephanie knows I'm not gay."

House raised his eyebrows and smirked, "So her name is Stephanie…? Nice. I'll have to go check her out so I can give her a name I'll actually remember."

"F- You're deflecting, dammit." Wilson turned and walked towards the door. "You're impossible."

"Your mom was impossible last night."

"Grow up." With that Wilson walked out the door, leaving House alone with his thoughts and complete downloads.

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So I realized that I haven't been putting up disclaimers… I'll start doing that…


	5. Friday's Are Messy

Chapter 5: Fridays are Messy

(Disclaimer: I own nothing…)

House used Cuddy's spare key to let himself into her house at nine thirty that night, not really sure of what was going to take place. Fortunately for him, Cuddy was sitting on the couch, attempting to distract herself with paperwork, looking just as awkward as he felt.

"Um… Hey, Cuddy." His voice made her jump, and she turned to him and rolled her eyes, "Way to let yourself in, House."

"I figured that spontaneity was sexy. I am shocked and saddened that you don't agree." He walked over and settled himself onto the couch next to her before pulling out his Vicodin and popping two. "Then again I should expect you wouldn't find that sexy, being as AR as you are."

She sighed slightly, though her smile betrayed her annoyance. "Are insults your form of talking dirty?"

"Do you want me to talk dirty?"

"I want you to be an adult."

"I want you to be in my pants, but I see that as of right now neither of us are getting what we want."

She leaned over and kissed him slowly, her tongue sliding between his lips as she ran her arms around his neck. He groaned softly and pulled her closer to him, shifting her into his lap, careful to avoid his bad leg. She bit his lower lip softly and pulled back, her breath slightly taken, "You need to learn to keep your mouth shut."

"Uh, judging from that it seems you like my mouth open."

She shook her head and ran her hands to his face, softly running her thumbs over his cheeks. "You're ridiculous, and immature."

"And you want me. What does that say about you?"

"It says I want sex, and I know where to go to get it good and cheap."

He growled softly and nipped at her neck, "So I'm good, you say?"

"Mhm…" She mumbled throatily, pressing her chest against his. "And when you're bad you're better."

He bit a tad harder at her neck, "You talk dirty… obscenely well…"

"I practice in front of a mirror."

"What else do you do in front of a mirror?"

"That…" She whispered softly, running her lips across his, "Is privileged information."

"I have a feeling I'll be quite privileged in a few minutes."

She softly bit his lip, "You really want to know?"

He whimpered in reply, placing his hands on her legs and shifting her into a straddling position over him.

"Sometimes," She whispered, breaking her sentence up with soft kisses, "I'll get up… and I'll walk into the bathroom... and I'll watch myself do my hair and put on make up…"

He pushed her away slowly and glared at her. "You're a bitch."

"And you want me. What does that say about you?"

"I like sex, and Wilson is tired?"

She rolled her eyes and gingerly removed herself from his lap. "Thinking of you and Wilson having a go at it is not a turn on, House. I know that's shocking but it's just not what I'm into."

"Well then you're boring." He snipped, standing and following her as she made her way into the kitchen. "Everyone else thinks Wilson and I would be an adorable couple. Kutner said Chase took a poll, Wilson and I are about sixty percent sexier than you and Thirteen."

She turned quickly and shot him a glare, "Why the hell is there a poll about that? And why Thirteen? Isn't she with Foreman?"

"I just didn't want to offend you by saying no one thought you would be hot with anyone but Thirteen."

".Ha."

He shrugged and grinned, "Sorry Cuddy, age is just catching up with you."

She rolled her eyes and poured them both a glass of wine, "If age is catching up with me I don't want to know what it's doing to you."

"Raping me up the ass, obviously." He reached around her and took his glass. "In fact it's been so focused on me that it's ignored Wilson completely. Lucky bastard."

Cuddy chuckled softly and sipped her wine as she leaned against the counter. "It is a bit unfair that he gets to keep his boyish good looks while you get all leathery."

"I resent that. He's nearly ten years younger than me, he'll be just as leathery soon."

"Right." She looked over at House slowly, smiling slightly. This was getting to be a bit weird for her, sitting there talking to him. Her smile faded the more thought she put into it, and she quickly downed her glass. "Come on, bedroom."

"But ma… I haven't finished my drink."

She walked over, took his glass, and finished it for him. He starred at her momentarily, knowing she meant to keep this as business like as possible. "You win."

"Yeah I do." She smirked, running her fingers up the buttons of his shirt. "You should let me win more often House, I'm a lot nicer when I'm happy."

He smirked and ran his hands to the bottom of her shirt, slowly sliding it up over her abs, "Maybe I don't like you nice, Cuddy."

"I doubted you would." She tugged at his collar, leading him back towards her bedroom. "If you're lucky I'll be better than good."

"If I'm lucky? I think it should be a rule: Cuddy must perform to her best ability."

She laughed and dropped her hands, sauntering towards her room. "You'll have to earn that performance."

He groaned softly and hobbled after her, a smirk on his face as he quickly started shedding his clothing.

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A/N: Sorry this one is kinda short, I'll make it up to you! I think….


	6. Impending and Inevitable

CH 6: Impending and Inevitable

(Disclaimer: I own nothing)

"So I'm assuming that you and Cuddy have been doing well." Wilson remarked nonchalantly as he removed the onions from his salad.

House looked up from his bag of cookies and raised an eyebrow to him, "I don't think I understand what you're trying to imply with that statement."

His friend shrugged, "I just meant… you've been sleeping together for about three weeks and nothing… terrible has happened."

"How can anything terrible come from sex?"

Wilson cast him an annoyed glance, "Anytime you're involved with… anything, terrible things happen."

House rolled his eyes, "Thanks for your absolute faith in me."

"So… Why hasn't anything happened?"

"Define anything."

"Anything. Nothing has changed… Why not?"

"Because… We have a nice arrangement going on and there's no reason for anything to change?" He looked over at him, a bit bewildered and amused, wondering where he could possibly be dragging this conversation.

"Oh…" He hung his head sadly as House popped another cookie into his mouth.

"What's up with you and… Um… The fourth Mrs. Wilson."

With a small, disgruntled sound Wilson rubbed at his eyes, "She's just my girlfriend, House. Just my girlfriend."

"So if you don't see a future with her why be with her?"

"Because I'm trying to see if I see a future with her."

"Psh. Wimp."

"I'm not going to continue this argument." Wilson polished off the remainder of his salad, grabbed his tray and made his way out of the cafeteria. House was quick to follow, for he was obviously not ready to end the conversation.

"Why are you trying so hard to keep her hidden, Wilson?"

He continued walking toward the elevators, "Because, House, you seem to have this strange effect on the women I date. They meet you and then things get more complicated."

"Ah," He replied, trying to keep up with his friend, "Well, it's not my fault that you date women that are incredibly jealous of what a wonderful match we are. In fact, I'm pretty sure if you were born with different parts down there we'd be a great couple."

"They get jealous? Need I remind you who it was who got so upset that they proposed joint custody of me when I was with Amber?" He made it to the elevator and pressed the button. He turned toward House looking him in the eyes, "You have your dysfunctional relationships with prostitutes and your superiors...I'd like to have a normal one. For now. When I'm sure she can handle the dysfunctionality that is Greg House, you'll meet her."

House smirked as Wilson entered the elevator, "They'll never be able to handle me, Jimmy. Even you can't handle me."

"This one might give you a run for your money... like Amber," a hint of sadness flashed across his features before he shook it off and looked up at House, "Are you getting on or planning on working out by taking stairs? Should I have a case of Vicodin at the top of the stairs for you?"

"You should always have a case of Vicodin waiting around for me, but no, I won't be taking the elevator."

"Why no- Oh," He realized whose office was on the first floor, "Have fun with your Booty Call." Moving his hand out of the way of the door, he let it close.

House grinned as his friend left him alone, then he made his way towards the office of his afore mentioned booty call.

"So are you coming to my place tonight?"

Cuddy sighed in frustration before bringing her eyes up to meet his, "Do you really have to interrupt my work for this?"

"Yes, I need to know."

"Why?"

"Personal benefit?" He smirked and hobbled over to her desk, leaning against it and looking her over, "Good enough excuse?"

"No." She was almost snarling. Apparently she was having a bad day. "Leave."

"But you are coming over?"

"HOUSE."

"Ok, ok… I'll expect you there at nine. Then we can gossip about Wilson's girlfriend and have hot sex."

She rolled her eyes, "Great. Save it till then, but for now please leave."

House smirked and made his way to the door, "See ya, Cuddy."

"Goodbye, House."

A few hours later Cuddy found herself in front of House's apartment and in a better mood. She knocked on the door and adjusted her purse on her shoulder. House opened the door moments later, his sub-par greeting meeting her smirk.

"Bout time you got here, I thought I was going to have to tuck myself in."

"Oh wouldn't that be a shame." She rolled her eyes and wandered into his messy apartment, trying her hardest to pay no mind to the clutter surrounding her. "How's your leg?"

"Good enough. How's your ass?" He plopped himself down onto the couch and continued watching reruns of Prescription: Passion.

"Still there." She smiled. She walked around to the other side, settled down next to him and leaned against the arm of the couch. "Are you really going to waste your time with me on a soap opera?"

"That depends. Is your foreplay going to be better than this show?"

"I dunno…" She smiles, leaning into him and running a hand across his chest. "Isn't that up to you to decide?"

House glanced down at her, his eyes trailing from hers to her lips and downward, "Yeah… I guess it would be…"

He turned his attention back to the screen and turned the volume up, "You're next."

"Wow… I've just been rejected for a fictitious hospital staff." She dropped her hand from his chest to his knee, yet she still remained pressed against him, her head against his shoulder. "That's… great."

"Well Cuddy, if you were as hot as these chicks we wouldn't have a problem." He grinned at her and draped his arm that had been resting on the back of the couch around her shoulder, pulling her closer

"Excuse me? I am just as hot as those women."

"Yeah, twenty years ago."

She pushed him lightly, a small smile spreading across her lips. His fingers found their way into her hair as he smirked at her and he twirled the long, black strands as he spoke, "I like your hair."

His blunt compliment shocked her, almost so much that she drew back. However, all she did was lean further into him, pressing her forehead into his neck.

They sat that way for a while, watching TV and enjoying each other's silent company. After they had made it through two full episode's Cuddy started to take in the situation. She was sitting there, nearly cuddling with House… It wasn't that she minded cuddling with House, in fact that was the root of the problem. Their situation could get messy if they involved anything other than the physical aspects of their arrangement into the little arrangement that they had.

"House." She pulled away from him and stood abruptly. "I think we should get to bed… I need to get at least a few hours of sleep tonight and it's nearly eleven."

"Alright." He shrugged, switching the TV off. "Who am I to turn down sex?"

"I don't think you'd be House if you turned down sex." She smiled. She waited for him to stand before making her way to his bedroom, slowly and seductively pulling her top off and dropping it in the hallway as he followed.

"Gee, not like it's difficult to walk as it is, Cuddy. Just try to make it worse, why don't you…"

She laughed softly and quickened her pace into the room, knowing full well he wasn't far behind.


	7. If You Stayed Over

CH 7: If You Stayed Over

(Disclaimer: I own nothing.)

"Hey Cuddy?" House rolled over so that he could look at her. "Are you going to stay the night?"

She turned, brushing her curls out of her face, "I can… Do you want me to stay?"

He shrugged and turned back to look at the ceiling, "You get more sleep if you stayed here… you wouldn't have to get dressed, go home, get undressed and go to bed… you could just… sleep."

"Yeah, sounds good." She yawned and stretched luxuriously, the sheet covering her torso slipping slightly. House's eyes darted over, and he prayed the sheet would continue to fall, however neither God nor Cuddy wouldn't give him that satisfaction. She pulled the sheet up and rolled on her side, facing away from him, and closed her eyes.

"Hey Cuddy?"

"House, wasn't the point of me staying here to get some sleep?"

"Yeah sorry…" He bit his lip softly and sighed. "I was just wondering if you… wanted to cuddle or something."

Her eyes snapped open and she quickly turned to look at him.

"What?"

"What?" He shrugged, running a hand through his hair almost nervously. "I figured… you know, women liked cuddling or something."

Cuddy stared at him for a good long time, her eyes searching his face for a hint of a joke or… something. She didn't find one and she sighed, rolling over and wrapping an arm around his chest. "Didn't take you for a cuddler, House."

"I… I'm not… I just… Shut up, don't cuddle me if you don't want to, God."

She laughed softly and pressed her head on his chest, "It's alright, I promise not to tell anyone."

He groaned softly, "I'm never taking advice from Wilson again."

"Oh he told you to cuddle? Wow… way to listen to a master of romance… He's only been divorced… what, three times?"

"He's obviously a romantic… all three times were on counts of infidelity."

"That they were. Not all on his part, though." She smiled and closed her eyes again. "Good night, House."

He slowly slid an arm around her bare back, lightly running his hand over her soft skin, "Night, Cuddy."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

House rolled over and hit the snooze button on his alarm clock a bit more forcefully than usual, thusly pushing it off of the nightstand and sending it to the floor with a loud crash. The sound startled Cuddy awake, and she quickly tightened her hold on House.

"Ow! Mother of God, Cuddy, I knew you liked my bod, but please refrain from using the death clamp to hold on to me…"

She rolled her eyes and settled her head back on his chest, sliding her eyes closed. "Shut up, House… What time is it?"

He reached over and grabbed his watch off of the little table since his other method of telling time had been knocked out of sight, "Six fifty."

"Oh good." She sighed softly and ran her hand up to rest on his chest. She ran her fingers into his chest hair and sleepily tugged on it, "I don't have to leave for another hour."

He smiled and ran his hand down her back, pulling her closer to him and turning slightly so that he could rest his head on top of hers. "Work is overrated. You should not go in today."

"Fat chance. I have three meetings today."

"Psh. Meetings. I'm so much better than meetings."

"Even if that were true, you don't pay me. The people that go to those meetings do."

"I could pay you. I just really didn't think you were really into that."

Cuddy punched his chest playfully, "You couldn't afford me, House. I'm not cheap like you."

"You hurt my soul."

She laughed softly against his skin, then abruptly stopped and pulled back, "House… Why does your alarm go off at six fifty?"

"It doesn't…" He looked at her hazily, his eyes full of sleep and only a hint of concern.

"Give me your watch." Suddenly she was reaching over him, grabbing said watch and looking at it. "Oh. My. God."

"What?"

"YOUR WATCH STOPPED!" She jumped out of bed and grabbed her cell phone, checking the real time for herself, "HOUSE IT'S EIGHT THIRTY!"

"I don't understand the problem."

"I have a meeting at nine!"

"My place is only ten minutes from the hospital, calm down-"

"I have to go home and shower and change!" She was hastily pulling her clothes on as she spoke, and the stunned House could do nothing but sit and stare at the flustered woman.

"Why can't you shower here?"

"Because House, not everyone can show up wearing the same clothes they wore the day before. That's something most of us leave up to you."

He pouted as she pulled on her heels and brushed her hair back out of her face, "Sorry. Next time bring a change of clothes."

"Oh no." She turned and shot him a glare that could probably kill a small child, or at least a puppy, "No more spending the night."

"Well you suck." He grinned as she walked towards the front door, grabbing her purse and sighing in exasperation. "See you at work!"

"Oh yes you will." Her voice dripped with anger and malice. "I knew this would happen, it was a terrible idea to begin with."

"Go to work, Cuddy." He grinned as she shot him one last glare of hatred before running out the door, trying her best to get home and to work in time. He plopped back onto the bed, knowing full well that he was really in for it once he got into the hospital… Yet he couldn't seem to replace the smile on his face with his usual scowl.

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A/N: House likes Cuddles?

PS… Thank you to all of my reviewers! You all make me jump for joy!


	8. Wilson's Disease

Chapter Eight: Wilson's Disease

(Disclaimer: Shore owns House. I own OC #1. :D)

House wandered into the pediatrics wing with a McDonald's bag in hand and sat at a little table with an equally little girl. He started to eat his overly salted fries, occasionally sharing and stealing from other kids when he felt someone's eyes on him; eyes that were neither friendly or belonging to children.

"Excuse me…?" The voice that spoke to him was sweet but authoritative. He turned in his small seat to glance up at a pretty and very confused looking nurse with a big balloon in hand.

"You're excused." He nodded, turning back to his food. The nurse rolled her eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm obviously eating, ebony."

"Wooow." She laughed. "Do you always make racial slurs to people you've just met, Dr. House?"

"Only when they know who I am." He popped a fry in his mouth. "Which you obviously did, because you work here, and I'm famous here. Much like a god."

"More like the devil." She sighed softly and sat down with him, tying her balloon off on her chair, "What are you doing here?"

"Eating. Duh." He glared at her as she reached in and grabbed a fry. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to know of some nurse… she's new…"

"No, I know no nurses. None. Especially new ones."

"Oh shut up." He rolled his eyes and continued. "You must be new. And stupid. You're stealing my fries for God's sake."

The little girl still seated at the table gasped and looked at House with wide eyes.

"What?"

"My mommy says you shouldn't say God unless you're praying or being nice about Him."

"Forgive me, small child, for I have sinned." He popped a fry in her hand. "Now be quiet."

The girl sat quietly, upset but happy with the amount of French fries she was receiving.

House quickly rolled up his bag, locking away any remaining fries from the bold nurse's hands. "Know anyone around here named Sally or Stephanie or something outrageous like that?"

The nurse smiled and leaned back in the tiny chair that she occupied. "Yes."

"Point her out for me, would you?"

"Yeah sure." She sat quietly in front of House, starring smugly at him.

"Well, point! I haven't got all… ok, I do. But still, show me."

"I'm Stephanie, House. James said you'd probably come down here after awhile, and to treat you like you'd treat me."

House's jaw nearly hit the floor. "You… You're dating Wilson?"

"Yes." She pauses and stares at him momentarily. "Is that going to be problem?"

"Maybe." He replied getting to his feet quickly. "Excuse me please, for my legs don't move as fast as my quick wit, and right now it is taking every once of self control that I have not to mock Wilson."

"You're a jerk."

"Oh this is going to be awesome!" House exclaimed, turning and walking as quickly as he could towards the elevators.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Wilson!" House burst into Wilson's office, an amused look on his face. "What the hell?"

Wilson blinked up at him, shock and confusion written all over his face.

"Guess where I just was." House smugly sat down in front of Wilson's desk, twirling his cane with one hand.

"Ummm... Cuddy's house. I can only assume that's why she was late this morning."

"Wrong. On both counts. She was at my place. I forgot to change my alarm. Oh well. BUT! That's not the point."

"I can only assume you're going to tell me what the point is because I am very busy and have a patient coming in ten minutes."

"Well then I have ten minutes for you to guess."

Wilson looked at him impatiently, his amused glare steadily becoming a more real one, "I don't have time for this right now, House. So tell me whatever it is you feel the need to gloat in my face about."

"Oh fine, party pooper. I went to McDonald's this morning." As though to prove the truth to this statement he pulled out the french fries and tossed them on Wilson's desk. "And THEN I went to pediatrics cause cuddy never looks there."

Slightly distracted by the fast food bag tossed on his desk, it took Wilson a few seconds to register what House had just said. When he finally put it all together, he slowly looked up into House's eyes, "Oh?"

"Mhmmmm. And this really, really hot nurse came up to me and asked why the hell I was there. She was totally into me, by the way, but who wouldn't be. I told her I was hiding and I figured since I was there I should ask around for Suzy."

"Stephanie."

"Whatever. And she was like, Oh yeah. I'm Stephanie." He blinks at Wilson. "Had I had any idea that you had jungle fever I would have set you up with Foreman. But now he has Thirteen and you can't have two bisexuals in the same relationship. How ridiculous would that be?"

Wilson leaned back in his seat, smirking at his friend before him. "Is that all?"

"IS THAT ALL?! You have broken the chain of normal, needy, not black women and you ask, "Is that all?"!"

He nodded, "Basically."

House stared at him, his face blank. "So... When's the wedding?"

His confident smirk went away, replaced by a scowl, "That's not funny, House."

House smirked at his friend's fallen face. "I think it is."

"I don't marry every woman I date."

"Right, right... There were like... two that you had in college right? Didn't they turn out to be guys?"

Wilson then proceeded to give him the deepest glare he could muster, "Get out of my office, Greg."

He looked thoughtful, "Or is it that they're guys now...."

"Out," he pointed with his pen.

"You're less fun than Cuddy." House scowled, rising to his feet. "Yeah. I said it."

"I would be less fun. I don't have sex with you."

"Thank God. I'll leave that to Jungle Bunny." He smirked and made his way to the door, "By the way, she was totally checking me out. Keep an eye on her, I'm difficult to resist and she's decently attractive."

Wilson's look of malice didn't let up, "I think she was more likely eyeing the ketchup stain on your shirt."

House almost looked down before returning Wilson's glare, "Funny." With that he made his way out of Wilson's office, still a bit baffled.

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A/N: And thus thus thus… You meet Steph! :D


	9. A Kid Changes Everything

Chapter Nine: A Kid Changes Everything

(Disclaimer: If I were half the mind Shore is I wouldn't be sitting here. -.-)

After a few moments of moping around at the idea of his best friend not telling him he was seeing someone, House wandered back into his office and plopped himself down at his desk to mope about not have anything to do. He pulled open his desk drawer and grabbed a sucker and US weekly then proceeded to prop his legs up on the desk and catch up on his celebrity gossip. Unfortunately, he realized that not only was this magazine old, but it had been read more than three times. He sighed and threw the magazine on the desk, now unbelievably bored.

He sighed and tried to think of something to entertain himself, so he grabbed his tennis balls off the desk and started juggling as he created cases to be solved in his head.

"House?" Cuddy was suddenly at his door, slipping inside his office quietly.

"Ah, Cuddles. You here for some delightful work sex?"

"In your dreams." She mumbled and rolled her eyes.

"I was about to be in my dreams until you thundered in." He smirked over at her and quickly tossed a ball at her, it smacking the wall directly next to her head.

Cuddy flinches visibly, looking a little taken aback. "I... have a new case for you."

"I'd prefer the sex." He replies quietly, quickly grabbing up the file to look at it.

"The sad thing is I know you wouldn't." She sighed, walking over to his desk. "I've been overseeing it the past few days. Nine year-old girl presented with severe headaches, fainting, tingling in the limbs, and difficulty sleeping. She was diagnosed with Lyme disease about a year ago, so I thought it was just a relapse of symptoms, but she didn't respond to antibiotics. Now she's developed short-term memory loss and hemiparesis... MRI and PET scan slight swelling."

"How fun! A patient I can insult that won't remember it."

"Yeah right, House." Cuddy glared at him and quickly turned to make her exit, "Her dad is an old friend of mine, please try not to be such an ass."

"You make it sound like that's all I'm good at."

"No, you're a great doctor, who happens to be an ass. I'm giving you this case because I assume the good doctor can be mature and hide what an ass he is."

"I can't make any promises, Cuddles."

She rolled her eyes and pulled the office door open, "House, if I get any news of you being… yourself… So help me God, you will not step foot in my house for weeks."

"You drive a hard bargain. I do believe that will hurt you more than it will hurt me."

"Get to work House. I paged your team, they should be up here momentarily."

House smirked at her as she left, still rather delighted at how fun this case was going to be.

Soon after House's team had assembled and he had set to work busily writing symptoms on the board.

"All right, kids. We've got a nine-year-old female, presenting with severe headaches, fainting, tingling in the limbs, short-term memory loss, hemiparesis and difficulty sleeping. Any ideas?"

"Could be… Chemical poisoning?" Kutner looked up from the little girls charts to address House. "We should rule that out first, don't you think?"

"Dunno." House looked over at him. "What do you think?"

"It could be genetic." Thirteen piped up as she snatched the file from her colleague. "It says here her mother died a few years ago-"

"Of multiple brain tumors." House cut her off quickly and sipped his coffee. "Which the kid doesn't have."

"It could still be a brain problem." Foreman added, gallantly coming to the defense of his girlfriend.

"MRI and PET scan revealed slight swelling."

"What about Encephalitis?" Taub looked at the rest of the team, an annoyed look on his face. "Still neurological but it wouldn't show up on an MRI."

"Nice work." House limped towards his office and barked out his remaining orders, "Get a tox screen and an LP, I'm going to go have a chat with Daddy."

"You're going to talk to a patient?" Kutner quickly whipped around in his seat to stare at his normally misanthropic boss.

"No, I said 'Daddy' not 'Daughter'." He snarked back. "Besides, she couldn't tell me anything. I doubt she even remembers where she is."

House made his exit as quickly as his legs and cane could carry him so that he could make his way down the hall towards Lacie's room. He came to an abrupt halt as he arrived, his attention distracted from the task at hand to Cuddy walking out of his patient's room. He tilted his head and walked up to her, surprise written all over his face when he confronted her.

"Since when do you worry yourself with my patients?"

"Since when do you worry yourself with your patients?" She scoffed and looked over at him, a bit confused as to why House would be at a patient's room. "What ARE you doing here, anyway?"

"I'm here to have a chat." He smirked at her an reached past her to take hold of the door handle.

"Ohhhh no." She said quickly, stepping in front of the door again to block him from entering. "No, no, House. I know what you're doing."

"What am I doing, Cuddy? I'm going to talk to my patient and her undoubtedly delightful daddy."

"Oh, of course. You're going to talk to her dad, who I had early expressed was an old friend of mine, and because you have some weird puzzle type thing going on in your head right now, you want to go in and figure out my relation to him. You're not going in there to talk about his sick kid, you're going in there to size him up!"

House shrugged and looked at her innocently, "Why can't I size him up AND talk about his sick kid?"

"You are unbelievable." She sighed, shaking her head and pushing away from the door. "Grow up, House. My friends are none of your business. Nothing about me is your business."

"Has that ever stopped me before?"

"No." She turned to him and met his smirk with an icy glare. "But it will this time. You are not to mess with him, do you understand? He's been through a lot, he lost his wife a few years ago and now his daughter is here because she very well could be dying too, so you need to just take your head out of your ass for once and give a shit about someone other than you."

House stared at her, a bit of disbelief and a bit of amusement in his expression. "You like him."

"He's my friend House, for God's sake can you just do your damn job and stop over thinking my friendships?"

"Sure." He shrugs, turning to head back to his office since his plan was foiled. "But you know I'm right."

"Oh my God…" Cuddy groaned, pressing her hands to her forehead as House walked off. This was going to be a very, very long week.

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A/N: OOOOOMMMGGGG I'm sorry for the eternally long wait for this! My friends and I were working on this a long time ago and I lost it! I'm sorry. =[ More updates will follow once I finish my other fic =]


	10. Short Term Who Are You Again

Chapter Ten: Short Term Who Are You Again

(Disclaimer: I wish I were Shore. But I'm not. Here's your disclaimer)

After a day of differentials, failed attempts at making their little patient better, and many terrible attempts at getting to talk to the little girls dad, House finally was able to get himself into the child's room.

"Hi there." He smiled sweetly. "What's up?"

"Who are you?" The freckled red head inquired, tilting her head and giving him a confused look through the masses of wires and tubes that surrounded her.

"I'm the doctor that's going to cure you." He found himself a chair and pulled it up to her bedside before plopping into it and leaning his arms on her bed. "Exciting, isn't it?"

"You know what's wrong with me?"

"No, but I will. Do you remember when all of your symptoms started? When you started, you know… dying?"

"I'm dying?" She exclaimed, sitting up in the bed.

"Well, in theory we're all dying, so yes you're dying. And you seem to be dying faster than the rest of us."

"Who are you? Why am I dying? How do you know?"

"I'm… Your doctor… God when they said you had memory loss they weren't bullshitting anyone, were they?"

"Do you know what's wrong with me?"

Her questions were really starting to get on his nerves. On the other hand, this could always be fun.

"I told you kid, we don't know yet. But we will. Where's your dad?"

She looks deeply thoughtful for a moment before a look of panic crossed her features, "I… I don't know! He was here for a long time with Miss Lisa, where is he?"

"How should I know? He's YOUR dad." House raised an eyebrow at the little girl. Her short-term memory loss should have prevented her from remembering anything about 'Miss Lisa', but she seemed to know exactly who she was. "How do you know Dr. Cuddy?"

"I've known her for a long time… How do you know her?"

"I work for her. Because I'm a doctor, and she's the bat shit crazy head of the hospital."

"Hey that's not nice!" She exclaimed, snuggling back into her pillows, not quite sure why she was sitting up in the first place. "Miss Lisa is a very nice person."

"Don't worry, I promise you won't remember it."

"Yes I will! And I'll tell her you said that."

"Oh… I'm scared, short circuit. Please don't tell the bat shit crazy doctor what I said."

"Well I am. I'm going to tell her everything you say about her."

"That so?" He grinned.

"Yes. Who are you?"

"I'm Doctor House. I'm the best Doctor here, and the only one that she wants to ride all night long."

"What does that even mean?" The little girl sighed, flipping her hair out of her face.

"Oh, damn, you're nine. Haven't done sex ed yet. Shame."

"HOUSE!"

He turned to the door quickly to see a very upset looking Cuddy followed by a very concerned looking man who was, no doubt, Lacie's father. He wasn't a very tall guy, but he was, unfortunately, rather handsome. Very Wilson like. Maybe even Jewish. No, no, Catholic, judging by his daughters semi religious jewelry.

Wait, why did he care?

"Miss Lisa," The little girl piped up. "This guy said something about you."

"Oh did he?" Cuddy growled, narrowing her eyes at House.

"Yup." He nodded. "Tell her all the nice things I said about her, Labie."

"Lacie!" She exclaimed. The look of confusion that she was now almost use to wearing came back, and she looked up sadly at Cuddy. "I… Don't remember."

"Atta girl." House grinned, quickly getting to his feet and pushing his chair back to the wall. "Nice kid. I think."

"Who are you?" The not-as-tall-but-almost-as-attractive-as-House man said, the look on his face stating that he was definitely not pleased with House's presence.

"I'm-"

"He's Doctor Gregory House." Cuddy cut him off, quickly turning to the other man and placing a comforting hand on his arm. "House, this is Peter Bradford, Lacie's father."

"Obviously."

She rolled her eyes and continued to Peter, "I'm sorry he's a bit brash, but he's the best doctor we have. He'll figure out what's wrong with Lacie."

"Yes I will. Although I kind of like her with no memory. I can say whatever I want to her, it's like talking to adults."

"Sir, can you please not be sarcastic around my daughter."

"Why? She won't remember it." He looks over at Lacie and smirks, "Right?"

"Who are you?" She repeated again.

"Like I said." House nodded.

"House, go home." Cuddy sighed, leading Lacie's dad over to her bedside. "It's later than you usually stay and you're being more annoying than you usually are, so please go home."

"Fine." He scoffs, rolling his eyes and making his way towards the door.

"Doctor House, do you have any idea what's wrong with her?" Peter said worriedly, stopping House just before he made his way out the door.

"We have a few ideas." He nodded.

"That's it, just ideas?"

"What, you want a list?"

"House." Cuddy warned, quickly walking away from Peter. "Come on, let's go."

"See you tomorrow, Linda."

"Lacie." The small child sighed, taking her dad's hand in her still functioning right hand.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Cuddy exclaimed once they had safely made their way out of earshot of the Bradford's. "I specifically told you to lave them alone, House!"

"I was observing my patient, Cuddy. What kind of doctor would I be if I didn't?"

"You'd be just like you." She sighed, walking over to the nurse's station and grabbing Lacie's file. "What do you think is wrong with her?"

"Don't know, could be a lot of things. Chemical poisoning-"

"Tox screens came back negative."

"Brain tumor-"

"PET scans and MRI was clean."

"Syphilis…"

"She's nine years old!"

"You're never too old to have someone touch you in your no-no square."

She looked at him, a deep, heated glare boring into him, "There is so much wrong with you."

"Let the team run an STD test."

"NO."

"You'd let me do it for any other kid."

"Not a nine year old, House." She sighed, carefully returning the file where she had found it. "There are plenty of other things it could be-"

"Yeah. Of course." He nodded. "Like cancer, MS, Encephalitis, CFS, PTSD, want me to go on?"

"No, thank you." She rolled her eyes and pushed past him to go to the elevator. "Figure it out, House, and figure it out quickly."

"Oh fine, fine, let me run and STD test and I will." He replied as he followed after her, the thunking of his cane in step with her clicking heels.

"I said no."

"Can I go ask Daddy then?"

"NO."

"You suck." He smiled, leaning against the wall and pushing the down button before she had the chance. His voice lowered considerably and he mumbled, "You coming over tonight?"

"No." She whispered, looking around to make sure no one was around to hear them. "My normal sitter is sick, so I have to be home tonight."

"Kids ruin everything." He sighed, letting go of the button as the doors slid open. "I'll just have to harass you twice as much tomorrow."

"Wouldn't put it past you."

He grinned and nodded as she stepped into the elevator, "See you tomorrow, Cuddy."

"Go home, House."

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A/N: Well I'll finally get back to work on this baby, now that I've finished up GNN. \o/

Reviews are always appreciated. :]


	11. I'm Gonna Show you Tonight

Chapter Eleven: I'm Gonna Show You Tonight

(Disclaimer: I wish I were Shore. But I'm not. Here's your disclaimer)

Realizing that he was going to be spending the night alone for the first time in some time, House called Wilson as soon as he arrived home, hoping that his friend wouldn't be too busy with his own life to hang out with him. Then again, even if he was too busy, House would still expect him to drop everything and come over because even the feminine Wilson needed some guy time. The feminine Wilson ESPECIALLY needed guy time.

Wilson, who was walking out of his kitchen to give Steph some tea, groaned slightly when his phone started to buzz in his pocket. Knowing that it could only be his mother or House, as his girlfriend was right in front of him, he tried to figure out which could be the lesser of two evils before looking at the Caller ID and seeing Greg House on the screen. He handed the tea to Stephanie and flipped the phone open, "Hello, Greg."

"Wilson, you should come over." House replied quickly, settling himself onto the couch with a beer and the remote to the TV. "I'm bored and I assume you have no life, together we can do something great."

Wilson sighed as he settles down beside Steph on his--or rather their couch, "I have a life, House."

"Yes, we all have a life if you want to get technical, but yours isn't exciting so you should come over. I have beer and Monster Trucks on TV."

Wilson realized that he had been neglecting his friend for his lovely girlfriend, but also knew that if it weren't for her, House would be neglecting him for sex with Cuddy. Either way, he did miss his best friend, and he nodded, "Okay. I'll bring a pizza."

"I knew you missed me. Tell Jungle Bunny I said hi." He hung up immediately, fully prepared to go out and grab some more beer before Wilson came over.

"How did-" he looked thoroughly confused at his phone wondering how in the hell he knew Steph was with him. She hadn't said a thing.

Steph looked over at Wilson with a smirk and sipped her tea, "Running off with the boys?"

He smiled softly at her, a little embarrassed at his inability to say no, "Yes...House's forty something years of age is actually more like six eight year old boys. So I am going to be off with the boys." He leaned in and kissed her tenderly, "Is that okay?"

"Of course it's ok," She laughed sweetly. "I was starting to think you didn't have friends because of how much time you were spending with me. Go have fun... and try to save some pizza for me."

Wilson smiled at her like a goofball, wondering how on earth he got someone as sexy, charming, beautiful, and funny as Stephanie Perry. "I can't help it if you're so much fun to be around. I'll save you a couple beers too."

"Ugh, you're an angel." She smirked at him and gave him one last, lingering kiss. "I'll see you later."

Almost an hour later, Wilson let himself into House's apartment with his own key to the place, pizza in hand. "So to what do I owe this, as of late, rare occasion of us hanging out?"

"To me not having anything to do tonight." He looked over at his friend and eyed the pizza in his hands carefully. "By anything I mean Cuddy."

"I figured as much. Why the sudden change of plans?" He set the pizza down on the coffee table and walked into House's kitchen to help himself to a beer.

"I... think she might be upset with me." House replied, grabbing a slice of pizza from the box. "Doesn't like that I was messing with her friend or something."

"Which friend would that be?" He walked back into the main room, sipping at one of the cheap beers House bought.

"Peter Piper or whatever his name is. Came in the other day with a sick kid. She's fun. Has short term memory loss, you really should go talk to her."

"Peter....Bradford?" Wilson asked surprised. "His daughter's in the hospital?"

"Yeah, sounds right." He nodded, sipping at his third beer of the night. "Know him?"

"I-- well...I know of him. I went with Cuddy to Emily's funeral...they're good friends from Michigan."

"Oh... How unfortunate. Michigan Alumni." House rolled his eyes and turned the volume up on the Monster Trucks. "Twenty on Wild Thing."

Wilson appeared a bit put off by House's flippant attitude, "Wait. Cuddy blew off sex with you...because you acted like yourself around a patient's family. And you don't care why its suddenly a problem now?"

"Should I care? Or are you trying to distract me because you know Anderson is going to get owned?"

"I'm just saying...it seems like something you'd normally be looking into. I obviously know something about Peter and Cuddy...and yet you're not grilling me. So either you really don't care, or you really care a lot and you don't want it to seem like you do."

"Or I figure you went with Cuddy to Peter's wife's funeral because you were her doctor." House sighed and looked over at him. "I'm not an idiot, I did a patient history. Her mom died of multiple inoperable tumors in her brain. Your specialty."

He started to turn back to the rally but shot Wilson another look, "That is what you mean, right? By what you know? Or do you know something else?"

Wilson looked like a deer caught in headlights wondering why on earth he got himself in this situation. "Umm...right," he grabbed a piece of pizza in an effort to shut his mouth.

"I'm unimpressed. What do you know."

"It shouldn't matter since your thing with Cuddy is purely sex."

"Oh no-no-no, you can't do that." He replied, his attention now purely focused on Wilson. "You can't keep shit from me Wilson, and it has nothing to do with my sexual escapades with Captain Cuddles. Come on, I want to know what's up with Bradford."

Wilson sighs, "I just...know that in college, Peter and she were...very close."

"Like between her legs close or like she thought he was gay and they went shopping together close? Cause seriously, kid or no kid, he gave off some pretty interesting vibes, let me tell you."

"More like Peter wanted to be in between her legs but Cuddy was still hung up over you. They were very good friends though. Which is why he had Emily come to her hospital. And now, his daughter, apparently."

House smiled smugly at the idea of Cuddy rejecting the seemingly good natured push over due to him and nodded, "Oh. That's fun. Shame for him though, everyone deserves great sex once in awhile."

"Well...if Cuddy's blowing you off for him...maybe that's what he's working on."

"Think not. His kid can hardly remember her own name, I doubt hitting the sack with Cuddy is at the top of his priorities, especially if he is the type of guy he seems to be."

Wilson shrugged, "You never know with some guys. Especially when it comes to the type who tend to go for Cuddy."

"The type with eyes?" House raised an eyebrow and looked over at his friend. "Plus his wife just died, I'm pretty sure Cuddy fucks aren't what he's after right now. Plus, even if he is, who cares? Cuddy's reaction to his come ons would likely be similar to the last time he tried to get into her tight skirts."

His friend shrugged again, "Well I'm sure that you have plenty of reason to be confident about it. More so than I would be aware about."

"Right..." House said absently. Should he be worried about Cuddy and the over sized teddy bear? Wilson's tone wasn't exactly reassuring... "What's up with you and the dark one?"

Wilson cast a glance at House, knowing that he had to tell him sooner or later because he'd just find out anyway. He sighed softly, "She's living with me."

"Wow, so much for not moving too fast." He said, picking up another beer and popping it open. "How long have you been dating?"

"Four months next week," he cleared his throat.

"Wow, already?" House thought about the math and turned to Wilson, "I've been sleeping with Cuddy for over a month?"

"Yeah..."

"And no one has stopped me?"

"What's to stop? It's good for you. Good for her." Wilson paused as he finished his beer, "Seems like this case might stop you though."

"You know, saying shit like that is unnerving, just tell me flat out if Cuddy is fucking that douche bag or not, would you?"

"I don't know!" Wilson looked over at his friend, trying to read him, "Why would it be unnerving anyway? Would it matter if she broke up with you for a normal relationship?"

"N-" he paused as he thought about his answers, "Yes...yes it would."

"Why is that? Because you have feelings for her?"

"N-no. Because... I wouldn't be having sex. Obviously."

"Not like you weren't having sex before. So you just have to pay for it again. Or you could always...you know...date. I'm sure someone finds you charming."

House rolled his eyes and sipped at his beer. "I don't want to date. Or pay for sex."

"So you want Cuddy?"

"Sure." He shrugged. "Why stop a good thing?"

"Maybe because both of you aren't addressing the fact that you like each other. You're always picking on each other. Like 10 year olds with crushes."

"And why would we stop that? It's working how it is."

Wilson shook his head and focused on the TV again, "One of you is going to get hurt...or both. You're not treating this like a normal relationship."

"It's not a relationship!" He sighed, turning to Wilson. "Have either of expressed wanting more?"

"You have expressed wanting more simply by saying that you don't want to sleep with anyone else."

"There's no one else to sleep with! That's unfair."

Wilson scoffed and nodded, placating his friend, "Yeah."

"I no longer wish to discuss this, you have simply been distracting me. Look, the rally is almost over and Grave Digger is out. I could have had twenty bucks."

Wilson rolled his eyes, "I'll give you the twenty."

"Don't want it." He sighed, leaning back into the couch and remaining relatively quiet for the rest of the evening, all the while swirling thoughts of himself and Cuddy around in his head.

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A/N: House isn't fooling ANYBODY. : D


	12. Not a Moment That’s Held In Your Arms

Chapter Twelve: Not a Moment That's Held In Your Arms

(Disclaimer: I wish I were Shore. But I'm not.)

Dwelling on the thoughts that Wilson had so graciously left him with upon his departure, House tried his best to get some sleep. This of course was futile, seeing as how he hardly slept anyway, and what little sleep he did get he simply dreamed he was awake and still dealing with Wilson. So, tired and rather grumpy, or at least more so than he usually was, House made his way to work the next day, and his first stop was just through the hospital doors.

"Come over tonight."

"House, really?" Cuddy sighed as she pressed the phone she was holding to her shoulder, having paused her conversation upon seeing him walk towards her office. Her expression was far from kind, and even further from tolerant.

"Yes really. Come over tonight. What about that sounds like a joke? I mean sure if you say it right, 'come' could-"

"House!" She exclaimed, holding up a hand in annoyance. "I meant are you really interrupting me for that. I happen to be on the phone with Lacie's father."

House starred at her in that feigning oblivious way that he had that always pissed her off.

"Lacie. Your patient." She growled, her heated glare matching her stressed voice.

"Oh… Short Circuit. Right. How is she, by the way?"

"Why don't you know?"

"Why don't you?"

"House, just stop. You need to go figure out what's killing your patient."

"Don't worry, we put her on mitoxantrone before I left last night, so she SHOULD be doing just fine."

Cuddy looked up sharply and brought the phone back up to her ear, "Peter, I'm so sorry but I'm going to have to call you- Oh all right. Yes, of course. See you soon."

She quickly hung up the phone and leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest and giving him a less than encouraging look, "You think its MS?"

"Looks like MS. Sounds like MS. Killing her like MS."

"Did we run any tests for-"

"Being done as we speak." He nodded, grabbing his pager as it started screaming at him. "Oh shit."

"Oh God…" Cuddy sighed, grabbing her own pager and jumping up to head to the door. "Code Blue."

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After stabilizing poor Lacie and concluding that her worsening condition was indeed NOT MS, House wandered into Wilson's office, hoping that his friend and consultant would help lead him to an epiphany before the little red head keeled over.

"House… what unfortunate event brings you to my office?" Wilson sighed and closed the folder he had been looking through, knowing that now was not going to be the time to try and get any work done.

"I need you to talk to me." House sighed, running a hand through his hair in a way that showed how irritated he had become.

"Obviously, it's why you're here. What do you want to talk about?"

"Oh, you know…" The gruff man replied, plopping into a desk chair with an agitated grunt. "Life. Anything really. Just talk, I need an epiphany."

"Uh… Right." Wilson nodded, still rather confused but willing to go with it. He was, after all, House's muse more often than not. The idea of being House's muse flittered through his mind momentarily and he visibly shuddered.

"You alright?"

"Never better." He said quickly/ "How are you and Cuddy?"

"The same."

"Oh the same. That's good. So how is dating but not dating going? I assume it's still driving you crazy."

"We aren't dating, we WERE having sex until some stupid kid and her dashing dad came in and took all of the attention."

"And you're jealous. You don't want her at all, how silly of anyone to think so. You don't even look like you're in a normal relationship."

House narrowed his eyes at his friend and continued, "We're not in a relationship."

"Sure looks like it."

"But we're not."

"I'm just telling you what it looks like." Wilson sighed, putting his forehead in his hand. He looked up a moment later when he realized that not only had House not said anything, but that he wasn't going to. "Epiphany?"

"My God you're good." House smirked, getting up out of the chair. "Now I'm off to cure the sick one. Thanks for your help, stupid as it was."

His friend rolled his eyes and went back to work, "No problem."

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A/N: So I realize I am a failure for how short this chapter is but I've had some SERIOUS writer's block and I haven't been feeling 100% lately. :\ I apologize. And I send you all love. Mwah!


	13. Not So Witty

Chapter Thirteen: Not So Witty

(Disclaimer: I am not Shore. Ergo, I do not own.)

Minutes later House walked into Lacie's room to be greeted by a vast amount of machine's, wires, and fellows. Not to mention her terribly concerned father and his extremely upset boss.

"Never fear, your savior is here." He leaned on his cane, leering past all of the contraptions surrounding the little girl to see her exhausted face. "You don't have MS."

"Obviously." Cuddy sighed as Thirteen looked up from the IV she was putting in Lacie's arm. "What else fits?"

"Acute disseminated encephalomyelitis." He replied, quickly walking over to Thirteen and moving in where she stood. "She didn't present with a fever, which is what lead me to believe she had MS. I'm sure we could blame dad for that though, similarly we could blame him for that nice little spout of arrest she went through."

"What are you talking about?" Peter exclaimed, moving to the other side of his daughter's bed defensively.

"Didn't you go to medical school? What part of "Aspirin is a blood thinner" did you miss?"

"I…" He starts, quickly looking back to his daughter, "She had head aches…"

"Right, and when the head aches and fever went away it made it that much more difficult to diagnose. Thanks, buddy."

"House-" Cuddy started, sending a glare his way as House administered a new medication to the wide-eyed girl.

"We're starting you on dexamethasone, and you're going to get to be here for a few more weeks. You should, in that time, start regaining the use of your left arm and leg." He looked over at Cuddy, who now stood close to Peter with a comforting hand resting on his arm. "You should start physical therapy to help with that."

Cuddy rolled her eyes and quickly followed House out of the small room after giving Peter a comforting glance. She called after him as walked back to his office, "Hey!"

He turned, hand on the door handle as he pulled it open, his face showing no signs of being upset or concerned about her or his patient. "Hey yourself. What do you want?"

"What do you mean what do I want? Do you ever think before you speak?"

He thought about this momentarily before shrugging and heading into his office. "Nope."

"You're ridiculous…" She sighed, following him and standing with her hands on her hips as he plopped into his chair and turned to his computer, trying his best to ignore her and her angry attitude towards him. What was that anyway? He'd just saved that kid's life, hadn't he?

"House."

"Cuddy?"

She crossed and uncrossed her arms, unable to think of a way to express her anger about the way he had just treated her friend without seeming overly interested in him. "That was bullshit that you pulled in there. Just because you figured out your case doesn't mean that you have to treat everyone else like the dirt under your shoes."

House glanced over at her before lifting his foot up onto his leg, wincing slightly as he examined the bottom of it.

"What are you doing?"

"Checking out my shoes. I think this dirt has a name, and it's PETER."

Cuddy rolled her eyes and finally decided that the crossed arms approach probably worked the best for this situation. "Not only are you an ass, but that wasn't really witty or funny at all."

"Didn't need to be. I was making a point."

"That you're a jerk and you think that you're better than everyone else? Very good. Point made. I'll leave now, I'm sure your ego will keep you company."

He smirked and dropped his foot, "Verily. So later-"

"No."

"You don't even know what I was going to ask!"

She sighed and leaned against the glass wall, "Fine. Ask."

"Later do you want to come over-"

"No." Cuddy glared at him and opened the door, "I am obviously angry with you. Why would you bother asking?"

"You're hot when you're angry?" He shrugged, turning back to the computer. "You going to hang out with Peter Pumpkin Eater later?"

"Yes, probably. Does it really matter?"

"No. Not really. If you two hooked up would that make you a pumpkin, or would you prefer to be a pickled pepper?"

"You aren't funny. You are now officially off this case, therefore you have clinic duty. Go get started."

House groaned, "I'm not off the case till she leaves!"

"Wanna bet?"

"You're cruel when you're angry."

"And hot." She smirked, heading out of his office, "Four hours."

"IMPOSSIBLE!"

Cuddy grinned and dropped her head as she walked out of the office, trying her hardest to stay angry at the arrogant doctor as she hurried back to Lacie's room which was now vacant of the diagnostics team.

Upon hearing the door open, Peter looked up, assuming it would be one of his daughter's attending doctors. He smiled slightly, pleasantly surprised to see Cuddy there. "Lisa, Lacie's going to be fine?"

"Yes, she should be fine, The team is taking care of her and after we run a few tests to confirm we'll get her set up for physical therapy."

"God, what a relief." He sighed, leaning back in the chair and casting a loving look at his now sleeping daughter. "She's exhausted."

"She has every right to be." Cuddy nodded, taking a seat next to him. She turned and smiled at comfortingly, reaching over and patting his knee. "Are you ok?"

"I'm exhausted as well." He laughed, looking over at her with tired eyes. "Thank you. I don't know what I would have done if I lost her."

"Well you didn't. And I would say don't thank me, thank House, but I think if his ego gets any bigger we'll have to evacuate most of the staff to make room for it."

Peter chuckled and settled back in his chair as Cuddy awkwardly removed her hand after realized she'd left it at his knee for too long. "I'll thank him anyway. I'll thank anyone who helped save my baby."

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A/N: Isn't it annoying how cute Peter is? -.- Oh well. Reviews are loved and well received, also I apologize GREATLY for my absence as of late. I am infinitely sorry.


	14. Fix You

Chapter Fourteen: Fix You

(Disclaimer: I am not Shore. Ergo, I do not own.)

Days after Lacie had been cured she started her physical therapy, Cuddy started meeting with Peter to 'discuss a charitable donation to the hospital' and House had stopped having sex entirely, much to his distress.

"Wilson…" He sighed, wandering into his friend's office. "I haven't had sex in almost two weeks."

"I'm…. Sorry?"

House scoffed and took his seat across from Wilson, resting his chin on his cane and half-heartedly glaring at him. "You're sorry? I'M sorry. I'm more than sorry. This is worse than Vicodin withdrawals."

Wilson looked up from his phone, this statement being more concerning than the sext he was sending to Steph. "Really?"

"No. But it got your attention. What the hell are you doing, anyway? Playing Tetris?"

"…Yes."

"Liar, stop trying to get your girlfriend all hot and bothered, I'm more important."

Clicking his phone shut, Wilson rolled his eyes and looked up at House. "I don't know why I even bother lying to you."

"Nor do I. What do I do with my problem?"

"Um, have sex?"

"I can't, obviously, Cuddy hasn't been… Responding to me well."

"What?" Wilson exclaimed, his shock obviously sarcastic with a hint of annoyance. "Cuddy isn't responding well to you? I don't know what to say, you're so easy to get along with."

"Yeah, yeah, shut up. I'm better at handling insults and sarcastic barbs better than you."

"I still don't see what the problem is. You had sex before Cuddy. Hire a hooker if you're that desperate."

House made a face and slumped in his seat. He picked his cane up and twirled a few times, looking almost lost in thought as he quips, "Don't want a hooker."

"Date."

"Don't like dating."

"So what you're saying, House, is that you just want… Cuddy?" Wilson raised an eyebrow at him and leaned forward, anxious to hear the answer to that question, even if it was obvious to everyone already. The only thing that was missing from House and Cuddy's relationship thus far was an actual title, and he doubted that either of them actually cared about that. They just needed to vocalize their feelings and move on so that the rest of them, namely Wilson, could finally have some peace.

House looked up at Wilson with a sincere, anxious look, and he opened his mouth to say something, most likely something he would never say again, when Wilson's phone buzzed loudly on the table. The two doctors both looked down at the little cellular device before looking up at each other.

"More dirty texts, Wilson?" He smirked, making a mad grab for the phone at the same time as his flustered best friend.

"Shut up, you're in love with Cuddy and you know it. You need to go tell her and ask her to be your girlfriend for real this time so that I can relax and actually get something done other than fix your problems."

"Please." House scoffed, letting go of the phone and smirking as Wilson jolted back in his chair. "So far you have fixed zero of my problems."

"Well you never listen to me." Wilson shot back, opening his phone. Upon reading the message his eyes widened and he cleared his throat softly before shutting the phone and shoving it into his pocket. "I uh, yeah, how would you know if I could fix your problems or not if you just ignore all my advice?"

"All of your ideas suck, obviously. I'll leave now so that you can take care of whatever business Steph is throwing at you."

"Very funny."

"I think so." He smirked, standing to his feet and smoothing out his jeans. "Not funny enough for me to stick around though. That's a little gay, actually."

"Just leave, please."

"Right. I'll see you for lunch?"

Wilson groaned almost inaudibly as he opened his phone and reread his text. "No."

"Thought not."

Hours later the lunch dateless House wandered into Cuddy's office, two cups of coffee in hand, one stacked rather efficiently on top of the other. "Good afternoon, Captain Cuddles. I brought you some coffee in hopes that you'll go to lunch with me instead of doing your girlfriend in your office."

Cuddy looked up at him quickly, a terribly disturbed look on her face as she exclaimed, "WHAT?"

"Oh, crap I'm sorry. I thought I was talking to the other Jewish doctor that I socialize with. My bad." He sat down and scooted one cup of coffee over to her before picking his up and taking a swig. "Wilson and Steph are getting dirty on his desk."

"Wow, House." She sighed, rolling her eyes and focusing on her paperwork once again. "What's the point in that story?"

"…That it's true and disturbing?"

"Of course. What's the point in you being here?"

"I told you, I need someone to buy me lunch."

"Well, it's not going to be me. Sorry."

"You suck." He mumbled. "You keep ditching me after work and now you aren't even bugging me about anything during work. You're just getting boring."

"So why do you still want to bug me if I'm so boring?"

"…You have a nice ass?"

Cuddy looked up and glared at him, tossing her pen on the desk and folding her arms over her chest. "House. Leave me alone. I'm not in the mood. I'm filling out some of the final adoption papers for Rachel before I go to lunch."

"Great, go to lunch with me."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to lunch with Peter, ok? I'm going to lunch with him, then we're going to dinner tonight, so please leave me alone because I won't be spending any free time with you today."

House clucked his tongue softly before nodding and standing up silently. "Well… Have fun."

"Right. Thank you." She rolled her eyes and picked up where she left off with her paper work. Then, as she reached out for her coffee she found herself grasping at air and looked up to see House with both cups in hand again. "What the hell, House?"

"My bribe didn't work, so no prize for you." He smirked, turning around and heading out the door.

Cuddy couldn't help but laugh as she put her head in her hands and muttered, "God I hate that man."

"Do not!" He called through the glass doors.

"You have four hours of clinic duty!"

"Ok, you do. Don't punish me." He gave her his best puppy dog face before turning and, for real this time, heading back up to his office so that he could mope and ponder in peace.

Mostly ponder on how much he hated that Wilson was usually right.

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A/N: So… I've been out of town… which is my excuse for lack of updates .

Also, Sexting, not Texting. It wasn't a typo .


	15. Story of A Lonely Guy

Chapter Fifteen: Story of A Lonely Guy

(Disclaimer: I am not Shore. Ergo, I do not own.)

That evening House had decided that sitting around while Cuddy got her drink and eat on with Peter was a terrible idea, and so he, in a slightly tipsy state after his three glasses of scotch, formulated what was sure to be a wonderful plan. He would most certainly make Cuddy sit up and take notice that he was not pleased with her ignoring him or with her 'going on business dates' with Peter Piper.

Not that any of this could have been avoided by him simply asking her out in the first place, but he wasn't in the mood to think about such a simple explanation to his problem.

"Wilson?" He asked as soon as his wonderfully caring and easily duped friend answered his phone. "I… I need help…"

"Oh God, House, what did you do?"

"I've been drinking… And… I… I just… need help."

On the other end he could almost hear Wilson wondering exactly what House had up his sleeve, but he sighed anyway and gave in. "Right. I don't believe you, because you never ask for help, but I'll come over. Steph is working late anyway."

"Thanks pal, you sure are swell." House grinned and snapped his phone shut, walking back towards his bedroom to get changed. This was going to be an exciting night.

Minutes later Wilson arrived, his un-ironed shirt and jeans an obvious sign that he hadn't actually been planning on going out that evening.

"So…" He said, heading to House's kitchen to grab a beer before he listened to what he was sure was going to be another one of House's less than brilliant plans. "What are we doing tonight? Going to see strippers, miniature golf, harassing Cuddy…?"

"That last one sounds right." House replied, also wandering into the kitchen from his bedroom. He eyed Wilson carefully and judgmentally, sighing softly to himself. "Well with you dressed like that we won't get anywhere."

"And with you dressed like a chauffer we'll get to… steal limos successfully?"

"I seem to always have to remind you that I'm the funny one. Go iron your shirt, we're going to Stage Left."

"I never took you as a man who enjoyed the theatre, House. Perhaps Steph and I can take you to Wicked for your birthday."

"You know, if I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd go check out Cuddy's date." He paused, looking thoughtful for a moment before laughing in his snarky, sarcastic way. "Oh my God, I do want to hear from an asshole. Come on, Wilson, it's not like we have all night. Knowing Cuddy she'll skip the entrees and dessert and head straight to the real dessert in her pants."

"Was that supposed to be a metaphor?"

"Are you still supposed to act like an asshole?" He sighed, limping towards the door and picking up his cane. "Let's go, you have to drive."

"Wait, you're… serious." Wilson said, quickly following his friend to the door, trying, rather unsuccessfully, to think of a way to stop this idiocy. "You want me to take you to go spy on Cuddy on her date."

"No, don't be ridiculous," He chuckled and threw the door open. "You're taking me there to ruin it."

"God, some times I hate being your friend."

They arrived at the posh restaurant about twenty minutes later, House all the while complaining about the distance they were having to travel to get to this stupid restaurant and Wilson constantly reminding him that this was his stupid idea. After they valet the car and Wilson unwillingly parted with ten dollars and a five-dollar tip, the duo made their way up the short flight of stairs and into the will lit dining extravaganza.

"Welcome to Stage Left," The overly cheery host greeted them. "Do you have reservations?"

"Actually, our party is already here." House said, scanning the restaurant in hopes of finding them. "Bradford table?"

Looking down at his seating chart, the slimy man clucked his tongue and eyed House, "The Bradford party was reserved for two."

"Must have forgotten about us then. We're like their bestest buddies."

"I'm sorry sir, but you'll have to leave. We only deal in reservations and you obviously do not have one, so please, if you'd like to eat here, make some reservations on the way out."

House, having not seen Cuddy or her little dumpling of a date, looked at Wilson, "Take care of this, I have to pee."

"W-What?" He asked, looking flabbergasted as the now irritated, slimy host looked at him, also judging him in his jeans and wrinkled shirt.

"Yup. B-R-B, buddy." He grinned, making his way, not towards the restrooms, but to the patio where he was sure the disgusting couple would be waiting for him.

Wilson, on the other hand, was stuck dealing with the less than gracious host, and he gave him one of his dearest Wilson smiles and leaned against the podium, "Look we'll only be here a few minutes, so if you could just give us a chance to say hi to our friends that would be great."

Mr. Slimy looked at him, un-amused and less than caring, and picked up a phone. "Security."

"Oh my God, look, here." Wilson pulled out his wallet and surreptitiously slid him a fifty. "There's… some more where that comes from…"

The host eyed the money and set down the phone. "How much more?"

Meanwhile, House had spotted who he had been looking for, and he thought his jaw was going to fall clean off at the site. Cuddy was… amazing looking. Not that she wasn't always, but she was… Damn. Just… So amazing looking in her backless, sky blue dress with her thick hair bundled up on top of her head, her make up light but still visible.

"Damn. Way to dress to impress, Cuddy."

She turned quickly, her face shocked and appalled at having heard his voice while on her… not-date. "House? What in the hell are you doing here?"

"Well..." He replied, pulling up a chair from another table and sitting next to her. "You said you were coming to discuss hospital type things because of Lucy, and I figured since I was her attending I should be involved in the discussion."

Her jaw dropped in disbelief and her eyes widened in anger as Peter smiled in amusement at the outrageous doctor. "House. The case is over. Leave."

"Hey Peter," House turned to the not easily angered man and pulled out a deck of cards as he ignored Cuddy. "Do you like poker? Wilson and I were going to ask Cuddy to play with us but that would still make us one man short."

"Sure, I l-"

"Wilson is here too?!" She exclaimed, dropping her forehead into her hand. "Of course he is, you can't do anything without him holding your hand."

"Look, Lisa," Peter chuckled, reaching out and taking one of her hands. "It's fine, Doctor House saved Lacie's life, and Doctor Wilson did everything in his power to save Emily's. I'd be honored if they joined us for dinner."

House looked at him in almost disgust before reaching out for Cuddy's other hand and saying, "Yes Cuddles, it'd be an honor for all of us."

She glared at him and pulled both of her hands away, "House… Please, I was enjoying a dinner with my friend."

"God, what a hassle." Wilson sighed, also pulling up a chair opposite of House. "Hello, Cuddy, Peter, I'm really sorry about all this, I'll be leaving with House now."

"Says who?" House questioned, giving him a death glare.

"Says me." Both he and Cuddy answered. The two exchanged glances and Peter raised an eyebrow.

"It's really not a problem if they stay…" Peter smirked, thoroughly amused by the antics of the doctors surrounding him.

"Actually, we can't." Wilson sighed, glaring at House.

"Sure we can."

"No." Cuddy replied icily, "You can't."

"Alright." He nodded, standing up and grabbing his cane. "I can see we are not totally wanted, so we shall depart. Goodbye, Peter, Cuddy. Have a good night."

Cuddy shook her head as Wilson looked at her apologetically, also standing to follow his ass of a friend. "I'll see you tomorrow Cuddy. Peter."

"Goodnight, James." Peter nodded, looking over with concern at Cuddy.

Once out of hearing range of Cuddy and Peter, Wilson turned to give House a death glare. "You, my friend, are not only an ass, but you are an idiot. And you owe me two hundred and twenty dollars."

"Yeah right. Really expect that back." House scoffed, making his way out of the restaurant.

"Really, what was the point in that aside from making Cuddy miserable which in turn will make her make YOU miserable?"

"I already am miserable. She deserves it too sometimes."

Wilson sighed and shook his head as the valet boy ran to get his car. "No she doesn't, House. Just because you can't be happy doesn't mean she can't be."

"Well why does she have to be happy with him?"

"So she isn't miserable with you?"

House looked over at him sadly, shifting his weight and scratching at the back of his head. "Thanks for coming with me."

"Thanks for leaving without police escorts." Wilson sighed, shrugging his coat closer to him. "And you should tell her how you feel."

"Yeah right." He scoffed. "After that she'll never talk to me again."

"That's your own damn fault. Idiot."

House smirked at his friend as the car was brought up, and he slipped into the passenger seat without another word on the matter. "How's Stephanie?"

"Fine. She hasn't been feeling well lately, she thinks she has the flu."

House raised an eyebrow and gave him a crooked smile as Wilson started the car. "She throwing up?"

"Yeah." He sighs. "And she's tired and achy a lot."

"Of course she is." He nodded. "Home, James."

Wilson rolled his eyes and proceeded on the long drive home, "Yes sir, your majesty."

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Disclaimer: I suck. I'm sorry.

A/N: So I don't even know what this chapter is, but it's long and it's there. Bam. Filler. :]


	16. Staring Through The Doorframe

Chapter Sixteen: Staring Through The Doorframe

(Disclaimer: I am not Shore. Ergo, I do not own.)

After her less than wonderful date with Peter ended, Cuddy got into her own car, since she had refused to be picked up, and decided to head home. Her thoughts swirled in her head, grasping for something, anything to hold onto, when she suddenly diverted from the normal route home and set her mind on officially taking care of some business.

She marched up to House's door and knocked more forcefully than she'd meant to, her anger getting the better of her as she waited for him to answer.

Moments later the door swung open, House standing their clad in his pajamas with bloodshot eyes. He'd obviously been drinking, she thought, rolling her eyes.

"Cuddy? What are you doing here?"

"I came here to get a few things straight, House." She hissed, pushing her way past him into his house. She folded her arms over her chest and glared at him, a few strands of her hair falling from her up do.

"Alright…" He nodded slowly, reaching up to rub the back of his neck softly, giving her a quizzical look. "Better be important. Psyche is on. I just solved his case before he did and I want to see who happens to be right."

"What you did tonight was totally uncalled for and unacceptable!" She exclaimed. "What gives you the right to do that, House? You aren't my boyfriend, you aren't my 'lover', you're my employee and you are completely out of line!"

"Cuddy, I- I just-"

"House there is no explanation." She laughed, her malice still obviously apparent in her eyes. "Other than you being freakishly obsessed with having me be single so that you can feel like not all of your friends have abandoned you. It isn't right, what you're doing, if I want to date Peter I will date Peter, and if you have something to say about that then you missed your chance a long, long time ago."

House looked her up and down slowly, trying his best to focus on her words rather than how beautiful she looked and how he wished she'd dress like that more often around him. "Well what if I have something to say about it now?"

"It's too late, House, didn't you hear that?"

"Cuddy, look, I… Don't date him."

"Too late." Cuddy scoffed, dropping her arms to her hips and looking at him strangely. "We are."

"I love you." His face contorted as the words from his mouth reached his ears and he actually registered what he was saying. Being slightly trashed in this situation wasn't one of his better ideas. Slightly being an understatement.

Cuddy also made a face, though hers was more similar to someone hearing that a bomb had been dropped somewhere in New York City. Granted a bomb had been dropped on her, causing all of her walls protecting her undoubtedly fragile heart from the ruthless type of love that she could give House, but never expect in return. Now that he had put a mess of holes in her theory that he was incapable of feeling anything for her, least of all love her in return.

"I… I love you?" He said again, trying to wrap his mind around the idea.

"No you don't." She whispered, quickly stepping back so that she was out of his reach. "I don't believe you."

House followed her, stepping forward and reaching out to lightly grasp her arm, "Yes you do…"

"I don't, I think that you're just afraid of living in your own misery while Wilson and I move on out of ours. You don't want to lose us."

"I can't lose you." He said, pulling her towards him and tightening his grip ever so slightly as he tried to work past his buzz to say things that were actually thoughtful rather than brash and completely raw. Not that that would happen. Since no words of wisdom came to his mind he decided to do the next best thing.

Cuddy didn't stop him forthright as he pressed his lips against hers, his breath hot with alcohol and hers dry from nerves. Her heart was racing as she struggled not to give into him, pushing him away quickly and looking at the floor.

"I… No. I'm going."

"Cuddy, don't-"

"Don't do this, House." She turned her blazing eyes up to his and continued, trying to keep her voice firm as she pulled away from him. "You had way too much time. I'm tired of giving you chances… And I'm tired of you saying things you aren't going to mean later."

"So what, now that I've given you what you want you're just going to run away, terrified at the prospect of me actually not thinking about myself for once? Scared that maybe I just might be telling the truth this time?" He sighed and looked away from her. "I'm… I'm sorry… Just.."

"I am leaving." She replied quietly, slipping past him and to the door, tears burning at her eyes as she thinks of how stupid both of them had and are being.

"Cuddy."

"What, House?"

"You…" He stopped and licked his lips softly, unwilling to, like her, give out any more chances. "Nothing."

Cuddy shook her head and quickly ran out of the apartment, jumping into her car as soon as she was able to reach it, and by then the tears had already begun to leak down her face because she knew that she too was all out of chances.

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A/N: So yes, this chapter is short, however I updated quickly to make up for it! \o/ I just hated that last chapter, so I perked it up with this. :] Not… that this is perky…


	17. She’ll Get By Without Me If She Wants

Chapter Seventeen: She'll Get By Without Me If She Wants

(Disclaimer: I am not Shore. Ergo, I do not own. :[ )

House went to bed after a few more scotches, the only thing accompanying him being his terribly depressing thoughts of self pity and bitter resentment. He decided that he didn't care, and if he did care he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing. No way in hell was she going to get to know how he really felt about the matter.

The next day he went into work, still… very hung over, and walked straight past Cuddy's office and the clinic so that he could make his way up to Wilson's office to discuss all of the crap that had taken place the night before.

He walked in without knocking, as he often did, to find Steph seated on Wilson's desk, her hands cupping his face as he kissed her rather passionately for someone who was suppose to be working. House raised and eyebrow and loudly cleared his throat, startling his friend back into his chair and away from his girlfriend.

"H-House, do you not know how to knock?"

"Sure, but it's a lot more fun interrupting your make out sessions. Does that really count as work now, cause I certainly didn't receive the memo." He smirked, hobbling over and taking a seat at the desk. "Morning, Black Beauty."

"Afternoon, House." She laughed, turning to give him a bright smile.

"We… We weren't making out…" Wilson said quietly, his face turning two shades darker red.

"Nope." Steph agreed, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "I was just whispering secrets in his mouth."

"Haaaaaa." House laughed sarcastically. "So witty. Anyway, I need to talk to Wilson, so you need to get your jungle butt out of here."

"You know he'll tell me anyway."

"Then don't ask."

"I don't have to." She smirked. "He can't help it. He tells me everything."

"Did he tell you about his divorce rate? Three for three."

"Yes, House, I know."

"You don't care?"

She shook her head slowly and smiled. "If you really need to be alone I'll go down to the cafeteria and get some lunch. You two want anything?"

"God, she's perfect Wilson. She waits on you too? Sheesh." House turned back to her, "I want cookies and coffee. And I'll just take whatever else I want from Wilson."

"Just get me anything, babe. Thanks." Wilson grinned, standing and giving Steph a small kiss as she slid off of the desk. "I'll see you soon."

"Ok." She grinned, pulling away from him slowly and heading out the door. "Bye House."

"Bye." He replied as she slipped out of the door, giving both of them one last smile as she did. House turned back to Wilson and nodded, "Seriously, where'd you buy her, cause I want one."

"For one, you can't just buy women, House. Secondly, she's… one of a kind." He smiled, sitting back down and looking over at his friend. "What did you need to talk about?"

"Is she taller than you? She sure looked like it. I mean obviously you're taller but I was just thinking your high heels and poofy hair made it look that way."

"No, she's not taller than me." He sighed, rolling his eyes. "Stop deflecting, what happened."

"Cuddy came over last night."

Wilson nodded slowly and looked at his friend, his face moderately emotionless. "…Oh?"

"You don't sound shocked."

"Because I don't think I should be. Should I?"

"I told her I loved her."

Wilson's eyes widened as he looked at his friend, his shock now very visible as his jaw fell open. "You didn't. Did you?"

"Yes. I was terribly drunk, as you can probably tell."

"But you still told her?"

"Yes."

"And she said?"

"'No, you don't'."

Wilson cringed and looked at House with more pity than he ever had and he probably ever would. "House… I'm sorry…"

"No biggie. I just thought you should know why I suddenly either stop harassing her or I harass her more. Which seems the better route?"

"I… I don't know, House, this…. It isn't what I would have expected happening…"

House sighed and slumped in his chair. "Shit. I don't even want to deal with her. Well, I mean more than usual. That could have something to do with my hang over."

"Could have something to do with your wounded pride."

"I have no pride."

"No, you have no shame. You have A LOT of pride." Wilson sighed, leaning forward and resting his head in his hands. "So… What, are you just going to act like everything is all right?"

"Why not? That will probably bug her."

Moments later Steph walked in again, two salads, a bag of cookies and a coffee in hand.

"Sorry I couldn't knock…" She said quietly. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything too important."

"Not at all." House replied, placing a huge smirk on his face as he grabbed at his cookies. "Just how positively glowing your golden skin is. Wilson was just saying how it always does that, and I was arguing that it doesn't. Petty gossip really, want to join?"

She raised an eyebrow to him and set the rest of the lunch down before taking a seat next to him. "Interesting… Well… I guess I can take part in gossip. The nurse's are all entered in Chase's new pool."

Wilson and House both turned to her quickly and gave her shocked expressions. "Chase has a new pool?"

"Yup. 'How long will it take for House and Cuddy to finally get over themselves and go out.'" She looked over at House slightly and folded her hands over her stomach. "You going to enter?"

He looked at the floor slowly and sighed. "No. It's not going to happen."

"He… asked her out and she said no." Wilson added quietly.

"I did not. I told her I loved her and she said no." He stopped and quickly looked at her. "Why am I telling you?"

She shrugged and looked sad for him, looking down at her hands, "I'm sorry, House…"

"Yeah well…" He shrugged and sighed, not really knowing what else there was to be done. "Shit happens."

"James…" Steph said suddenly, looking up at the handsome doctor quite quickly. "Maybe House can go with us?"

House also raised his head, now totally interested in what was going on. "Where you going Wilson?"

Wilson shot Steph a halfhearted glare and turned to House, "We're going to New York this weekend."

"Wilson, what is with all of the secret keeping? First you don't tell me you have jungle fever, then you don't tell me you have jungle bunny and now you don't tell me you're going to the urban jungle? Are you worried I'll get the fever too?"

"I didn't tell you because I didn't think it would be important." Wilson sighed, looking over at Steph who was giving him an almost pleading look. He rolled his eyes and sighed softly, giving her a soft nod. "And… if you want, House… You can go with us."

"Sounds like fun." He grinned, poking at Steph with his cane. "You just want an excuse to hang around me, don't you?"

"I could think of better ways to get around you, House." Steph laughed, opening up her salad and starting to eat it.

"Well I will go. Are we going to go see Wicked like you promised, Wilson? If we do I think we should go buy some glitter and paste to decorate my cane. Matching scarves would look nice too."

"You're ridiculous. If you're… ok… you should go get some work done. Or you could go home, I'm sure Cuddy won't care."

"Wasn't the whole point of this conversation to show that Cuddy doesn't care?"

"House…" Wilson sighed. "She does care, she's just… being an idiot."

"Maybe." He shrugged, getting to his feet. "But you're right. I should go home. I have to pack for our grand adventure. When do we leave?"

"We're leaving on Friday at three." Steph smiled, giving him another sad, caring look. "Think you'll be ready?"

"Only if I get to skip work. Which I probably will anyway."

"And we really are going to see Wicked." Wilson put in quietly. "So we'll try and grab an extra ticket for you."

"Over my dead body will I be going to see Wicked with you."

"My sister's going, too." Steph said. "She's really fun, I'm sure she could keep you company."

He smirked and leaned against the doorframe. "She hot?"

"Yes." Wilson said, nodding and looking at the quizzical Steph. "I… I mean she is pretty, from the... photos I've seen."

"Well I'll see what I can do." House smirked, throwing the door open and giving the couple one last look. "By the way, congratulations."

"On?" They replied in unison.

He raised an eyebrow and looked from Wilson to Steph. "You don't know?"

Steph shook her head and Wilson gave him his signature confused look.

"Oh well, never mind. I'm sure you'll figure it out in a few months. Sorry. See you tomorrow."

He walked out of the office, the pleasant smirk he was wearing fading quickly as the loudness of the hospital caused his headache to grow and he made his way to the elevators so that he could head home and spend another lonely night alone.

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A/N: So I'm updating quickly because I'm on a roll. I think this is the last of it for a while, but do trust that the next few chapters will be full of fun. : D


	18. Don’t Care What You Might Think About Me

Chapter Eighteen: Don't Care What You Might Think About Me

(Disclaimer: I am not Shore. Ergo, I do not own.)

Thirteen sat at the differential table, a rubber band stretching across her fingers as she toyed with it, wondering where in the hell House might be. They were all used to his being late by that point, but twelve thirty was pretty extreme, even for him.

After gathering in the morning on what the team thought would be a normal day they waited around for an entire hour to check in with their boss. After his no show, the men opted to go work on their clinic hours and left Thirteen to stand guard until lunch when Foreman would come back to relieve her and switch places.

She had just about given up any hope of House's appearance at work that day when the door to his office flew open and the scruffy man in question appeared.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked, eyebrow raised as he limped into the adjoining office where his fellow sat. "It's twelve thirty."

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" She huffed, tossing the rubber band to the table and giving him her full attention. "Why are you here so late?"

"Because I partied oh so hard." He smirked, slowly easing himself into a chair at the head of the table. "Why are you the only loyal dog? Where are the other members of the ethnic rainbow?"

"They're doing their clinic hours since you didn't show up until, oh, just now."

"Well page them. Tell them I'm here now and I need to talk to them."

Thirteen raised an eyebrow and leaned back in her chair, wary of anything he might say. "Why?"

"Because, I need to talk to all of you. Together. Why so nosey?"

"Oh cause you're not nosey." She smirked, pulling out her phone and paging her fellows to let them know that House had finally showed up. "Did you… need more coffee?"

"What, do I look hung over or something?"

"Just asking." She sighed, getting up to grab one for herself as House yawned and leaned back in his chair. Soon after she had made herself some delightful warm drink (while making nothing for House since he was insisting on being such an ass) the other members of the team arrived to hear whatever House's asinine orders were sure to be.

"Good to FINALLY see you, House." Foreman sighed as he took his seat at the opposite end of the table, lightly brushing his fingertips across Thirteen's neck as he walked by. She looked up at him and gave him a smirk, glad that she was no longer alone and even more pleased that Foreman was the first to show up.

"Can't say I feel the same way." House yawned, leaning back in his chair and nearly smacking into Taub as he wandered in.

"Where have you been?"

House rolled his eyes and shot Taub a neat little glare. "God, what is it with you people? I'm just a little late. Obviously."

"You're always late." Kutner agreed as he followed the little man with the large nose into the room. "Though I think we'd consider this more like early for tomorrow."

"Oh shut up." House sighed, standing up and walking over to the board. "I only called you back up here so you could get whatever precious cargo you bring with you to work since you're all going to be leaving in a moment."

The team stared at him for a long moment, wondering what in the hell had happened to him last night and why he was acting stranger than usual. Finally Foreman spoke up again, his face stoic as always, "Why are we leaving, exactly?"

"Well you have nothing to do." House shrugged in return, leaning lightly against the white board. "No case. No work. Leave now and don't come in until next week."

"So…" Thirteen interjected, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "You're giving us four days of paid leave? Why?"

"Three and a half actually. This still counts as most of a day, and since you've all actually been working I don't think we consider this a day off. Oh well, what's one day sacrificed to your exceptionally long weekend?"

"Does… Cuddy know about this?" Kutner asked, shooting a glance over to his fellow sufferers of House's odd behavior.

"Not that it matters, since I will be here, but no. She doesn't. Nor will she, because she isn't actually speaking to me because I upset her about something. Women are so over dramatic like that. Anyway, leave, don't come back until Monday or I will fire you."

"You can't fire us for showing up to work!" Taub exclaimed, glaring at Kutner who had already reached over and grabbed his coat.

House gave him an apathetic look and nodded at the now concerned Kutner, "You willing to risk your job to find out, Munchkin?"

"House," Foreman sighed. "If we don't show up until next week, CUDDY will fire us. If we do show up you may fire us, but she'll just rehire us."

"Look, Cuddy won't even know. I'm giving you time off, why can't-"

Taub looked incredibly annoyed at this point, and he expressed his annoyance quite well by pointing out House's reasoning behind this idiotic plan. "But you're giving us time off to piss off Cuddy which none of us really want to do."

"Actually, I don't really mind, cause I've got some things to do…" Kutner said quietly, smiling awkwardly and pointing at the door as if asking for permission to go through it.

"See, Kutner will have his job on Monday because he's following directions." House sneered, looking at the other three who were still seated. Thirteen shrugged and got up, grabbing her coat.

"Whatever, life's too short to waste it sitting here arguing about being at work or not."

"Nice. The terminally ill girl puts life in perspective. The rest of you should follow in her example and GO HOME."

Foreman sighed again and looked up at Thirteen, slowly rising to his feet and following her, "This is strange, House. Even for you."

"Yeah, but it will be fun." He smirked, waving at Taub who was still reluctant to follow his peers. "Bye."

The small doctor rolled his eyes and wordlessly got up to leave the room, grabbing his jacket and brief case on the way. "If you don't mind me asking-"

"I do."

"Why does it matter? Upsetting Cuddy, I mean."

"Have to keep things lively around the office. What better to do than piss off a boss that wants to but won't fire me?"

Taub scoffed and turned to the door, "You two are made for each other."

House watched his team head off to go home before sighing and rubbing the back of his head. "Yeah. I know."

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A/N: Oh boy, House. Crazy man wants death .


	19. You’re Already The Voice Inside My Head

Chapter Nineteen: You're Already The Voice Inside My Head

Disclaimer: Anyone else seen the newest promo for season six? Anyone else INCREDIBLY displeased? I hate David Shore. Also, he owns House. Bastard.

And so it was that Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital's diagnostic's team disappeared. Not to say that this was totally noticed at first, typically the only reason the rest of the hospital even acknowledged the small branch was because House made it a point to be noticed, in fact, he despised being ignored even by the lowliest of nurses and interns. However, for the past few days even the registered ass had kept quiet, and this, while a relief to everyone else, was extremely distracting to Cuddy. By Thursday the uncomfortable dean grew tired of trying to figure out why she hadn't seen, as House described them, the 'ethnic rainbow' since Monday afternoon and she made her way up to the diagnostic's differential room.

And though she didn't really seem to think she was, she was lucky to stumble upon House who had showed up only to speak to Wilson and pick up some things from his office that he found totally necessary to bring on his trip, namely his first two seasons of 'Prescription Passion' and the latest gossip magazines that he had neglected to bring home the days prior.

"So." Cuddy said, leaning against the doorframe and giving House a rather icy stare. "Where have the members of your team been the past few days?"

House looked up from the box of DVDs he was uncomfortably crouched in front of and rolled his eyes upon seeing her. "Hm… Good question. I do believe they've been running tests."

"Oh? What, pray tell, are these unauthorized tests on?"

"Well, I'm not a psychic or anything, but I think Forman and Thirteen are testing out which of their beds can withstand the most sex, Kutner is probably comparing the results of Bioshock and Splinter Cell and I'm sure Taub is trying to gauge how many nurses he can bang before his wife finds out."

Cuddy stared at the doctor like he had actually gone completely out of his mind. "Excuse me? Your team isn't here?"

"Theoretically neither am I. I'm going on vacation, I just came here to pick up a few things and chat it up with my bestie and the cute one."

"Since when did Stephanie become the cute one?"

"Stephanie? The cute one?" He scoffed, shaking his head and hoping up with his DVDs in hand. "She's my bestie. Wilson is obviously the cute one in this situation. But don't tell her that, cause until she figures out that she's stuck with Wilson for the next eighteen years I still have a chance of sleeping with her. Well, she's stuck if she's not pro choice. Or pro divorce. I think she's Baptist or something, so I'm sure both of those are out of the question."

"You're disgusting. And… What does that- Never mind. Where in the hell is your team?"

"I told you Cuddles." He sighed, walking past her and raising an eyebrow to her. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to be getting out of here so I can pack and go to New York."

Cuddy sighed and let him walk out, but still didn't want to give up on the conversation. She continued on her almost rant as she followed him towards the elevators, "They all have to make up the clinic hours they've missed."

"Don't care."

"And their little unauthorized vacation will not have the benefits of paid leave."

"Again, don't care."

"But they will get paid, via YOUR paycheck."

"Ouch." He sighed sarcastically, walking into the elevator and turning to her with a pained expression. "Cuddy… That would hurt… If I cared."

She furrowed her brow in confusion and hurried on after him as the doors began to close. "You really don't care?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

House laughed sardonically and threw her a House look. "Please. Like you'd ever do that. Sure you'll double my clinic hours, but you'd never do anything that you really thought would hurt me."

They stared at each other in an almost sad recognition of the truth before the elevator dinged softly, signifying that the duo had reached their destination of the ground floor. House nodded to her softly before walking through the large sliding doors and towards the doors leading to the warming spring awaiting him outside.

"I'll see you Monday, Cuddy."

"Right…" She sighed, thoroughly annoyed at that perceptive asshole and how easily he could not only see through her but so effortlessly get out of trouble with just a few well placed smirks and witty retorts. She huffed back to her office and her stacks of paperwork, so not looking forward to the rest of the day. On the bright side, she could always double House's clinic hours.

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"So… Cuddy said nothing about your team being gone? Or you going out of town?" Wilson looked thoroughly confused with his classic raised eyebrow and concerned brown eyes. He had seated himself across from House as they rolled along on the train up to New York and Stephanie had made one of her numerous bathroom rushes when House had decided to explain to his friend how he had dealt with Cuddy the week prior and how she had, in turn, 'dealt' with him. "That… sounds nothing like her."

"Yeah well, what can I say?" He replied boredly, grabbing his backpack as the train began to roll into the New York station. "She's hot for me."

"Of course she is." Wilson sighed as Stephanie returned and plopped down beside him. "Hey, baby. You all right?"

"I'll be better once we arrive at my sister's." She groaned softly.

"Fortunately for you that should be in about twenty minutes." House nodded.

"Yeah right." She scoffed. "Let's hope she's here on time."

"Oh she's picking us up? Dandy."

Stephanie smiled, "Don't worry, House. You'll like her. Trust me."

"If you're wrong I demand you buy me lunch for a week."

"Deal."

Fifteen minutes later the trio was waiting on the platform for Stephanie's sister. She, unlike her two male cohorts, was anxious and full of excitement at the idea of seeing her sister, Wilson was nervous and House was, well, still bored.

"There she is!" Steph squeaked, tossing her purse up onto her shoulder and making a run for her eldest sibling. She threw her arms around a remarkably tall, slender woman with long, obviously well cared for hair and large Channel sunglasses on.

"Damn she's tall." Wilson muttered, eyes wide at the concept of this girl probably being the same height as him.

"Heels." House nodded, still bored at not really looking over at the woman.

"She's… my height."

"Yeah. Heels. And you're short, obviously."

"Oh shut up."

"James!" Stephanie called, dragging her sister back over to her boyfriend and friend. "This is my sister, Lisa."

At the mention of her name Wilson raised an eyebrow and House seemed at full attention, quickly turning to survey the woman with the strangely familiar name.

"Uh, hi Lisa. James." Wilson extended his hand and took hers in a polite manner.

"It's nice to meet you James." She chuckled softly, smiling and revealing a row of perfect teeth that probably came at a hefty price. Then again, Stephanie had pretty brilliant teeth as well, so they could just be two of the most fortunate women on Earth. "I've heard a lot about you. All good things, might I add."

"And I you." Wilson smiled before gesturing to House. "This is House. I mean, Greg… House."

Lisa turned and raised an eyebrow at the scruffy doctor who was still looking at her in a sense of awe. "I've heard a lot about you too, Doctor House."

"Can't say I've heard much about you. Do you work for the CIA and or are you a doctor?"

"Actually… I'm a lawyer." She laughed, giving him a funny look. Well, the CIA was a long shot, but she did remind him of that one girl… What was her name? Hm. He made a mental note to ponder this later.

Stephanie raised an eyebrow at her now friend and slipped her hand into Wilson's.

"My car is this way." Lisa smiled, gesturing in the direction the four should be headed. "Shall we?"

"Definitely." House nodded, following after the lawyer with the familiar name before looking back at his traveling buddies. "You coming."

"Oh… Boy." Wilson sighed, re-shouldering his and Stephanie's overnight bag as he followed after the two who had already made surprising progress towards the car.

Stephanie just smirked and laced her fingers between Wilson's. "Told you he'd like her."

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A/N: WOW sorry for long hiatus. Been terribly busy and/or stressed. :[ Sorry if this chapter is no good, but it is progress making.


	20. Aint Comin Home, Dont Need The Attention

Chapter Twenty: I Ain't Comin' Home I Don't Need The Attention

Disclaimer: Again, SOOOOO SORRY for the wait. :[ (David Shore owns [H]ouse)

House and Wilson didn't get much chance to talk to Lisa, the ironically hot lawyer with an ironically familiar name, on the drive to the hotel due to Stephanie's excited chatter about her life in New Jersey and exactly how excited she was to see her favorite sister. It seemed to Wilson that no matter how often those two spent together that they would never run out of things to talk about.

Upon their arrival to the Plaza Hotel (because Wilson spared no expenses when it came to his gorgeous girlfriend) Lisa bid her farewell and requested that the trio pick her up on the way to the theatre since her apartment was on the way.

"Well your sister is... Interesting." Wilson said as he carried the couple's luggage into the hotel's foyer.

"And hot." House quipped, standing next to his friend, overnight bag slung haphazardly over his shoulder. He was a lot more eager to go get ready for the sure to be God awful musical.

Steph and Wilson simultaneously rolled their eyes as they checked in and a bellboy escorted them up to their rooms.

Once Wilson had been forced to tip the bellboy just so he'd go away, he took a look at the close proximity of the two rooms. Upon entering, his suspicions were confirmed when he saw the door in the wall, joining House's room to theirs. "Greg.... our door is to remain locked. I don't want you trying to come in from your side."

House rolled his eyes and walked into his room, unlocked his door and knocked on the door to Wilson's room. "Why's that, buddy? Afraid I'm going to interrupt something? Anyway, what if I need Steph's help with my tie, or I need her to tell me how pretty I look?"

Steph giggled softly and took hers and Wilson's bags over to the closet and got out the ironing board so that she could start to iron out their clothes for that night.

"Then you can knock."

"I hate knocking. It's loud and obnoxious. Let me in."

Wilson opened the door, clearly not amused, to stand face to face with his friend and said, "I can't figure out why you're opposed to something loud and obnoxious."

House shrugged with a classic House smirk and poked his head into the room. "Hey Steph, wanna iron my clothes while you're at it?"

"Not really." She smiled, laying out Wilson's shirt and slacks. "You have an ironing board in your room and you're a big boy now, so you can do it yourself.

"You're no fun." He pouted, looking back at his friend. "What time do we have to leave?"

"We have dinner reservations at six. So we'll leave at five thirty."

"Right, I'll be coming over here at five thirty then for Steph to tell me how much better looking I am than her fluffy haired boyfriend." He looked almost shocked for a moment, then apologetic. "Oh... that's you. What was I thinking? Anyway, I'll be back. Have fun."

Steph and Wilson again rolled their eyes and Stephanie started ironing as House disappeared to also, surprisingly, iron his clothes and trim up his beard. He figured this would shock everyone, and of course the idea of shocking anyone pleased him greatly.

And, at five o'clock (which was also shockingly early for him to be ready to go), House walked into Wilson's room, dressed neatly in ironed slacks, an ironed button down over a not so ironed rolling stones shirt, his favorite sneakers and a blazer hanging over his shoulder. He swung his cane around idly, waiting for someone to notice him and comment on how handsome he looked. Well, not really, but he may as well get his ego stroked, right?

Upon entering he found that no one was in the room, and this was of course very concerning and confusing. He momentarily wondered if the dynamic duo had left him in an effort to enjoy the evening, but then he heard the shower running and muffled lovey noises. He made a disgusted face and yelled, sounding almost as angry as he was horrified, "Oh for the love of GOD you guys!"

He rather quickly exited the room and sat on his bed with a pout, waiting for five thirty to roll around.

A now fully dressed (and inevitably just laid) Wilson smirked at House and simply stated, "I warned you."

"You couldn't wait? I was all ready to go, you... Jew." House grumbled. He made his way over to sit on the bed. "Is it safe to sit here or did you tag the bed, too?

"Not yet we haven't." Steph said, walking out of the bathroom as she put her earrings in. She too looked visibly satisfied, but House would hope that if Wilson were that his girlfriend would be on the receiving end of everything, otherwise they'd have another lawsuit on their hands. Well, maybe not, since they weren't married, but House actually liked Steph, and if Wilson cheated on her it might actually bother him.

House raised an eyebrow at the glamorous Stephanie, all dressed up in a nice white cocktail dress. He'd seen her basically just in scrubs and casual wear, so he had no idea she could look so sophisticated.

Steph smiled at House and nodded, "I like your outfit. You look very presentable."

"And you look like you deserve way better than Wilson." House smirked.

Wilson obviously didn't hear House's inane comment because he stared at Steph with a goofy, love struck look on his face and he made no move to combat his friend's little attack.

Stephanie smirked and finished up with putting her jewelry on before walking over and giving Wilson a sweet kiss. "Doesn't House look nice, baby?"

Wilson turned and looked at his friend. "Yes, he does. Sometimes I forget he knows how to shave."

"Aren't you funny." House snarked, rolling his eyes. "Also, speaking of babies, what are you going to name yours?"

"Huh?" Wilson looked at House like he had three noses. They obviously didn't have children. Nor were they planning on it. House was obviously just on the prowl to be a huge douche bag, as per usual. However, his comment hadn't seemed so mean, rather it had been inquisitive. This interested Wilson, but he was still confused so he didn't try to ponder the meaning of House's words.

Steph, however, looked mildly horrified at House before quickly looking back to Wilson.

"Oh. Duh." House laughed sarcastically. "I keep forgetting you to don't want kids. Sorry. You're just so married couple right now it's disgusting."

Wilson's brow furrows slightly at House's comment, because again, he is confused, but he doesn't respond.

"Very nice, House." Steph said quickly, giving him a quick glare. "Are we all ready to go?"

"I am." House replied cheerily, hopping up and limping to the door. "How about you two?"

Wilson nodded and held out his arm to his beautiful lady. "Shall we?"

Stephanie smiled and slipped her arm into his and walked out with him, giving House a halfhearted glare as she passed by. He returned the glare with a knowing smirk as they went down to the lobby.

Once outside, House nudged Stephanie slightly as Wilson tried rather desperately to hail a cab, "So I assume you haven't told him that you don't actually have the swine flu and that your parasite will filter out in about eight months."

"Oh shut up." She said under her breath. "I don't know how he'll react. He doesn't want kids."

House shrugged as a cab finally pulled up to the curb, "Doesn't matter. He wants you."

Steph looked after him and smiled slightly, feeling an odd sense of encouragement at his words.

And as House made his way up to the cab Wilson turned around, wondering what those two had been talking about but not really caring as he caught sight, again, of just how beautiful and practically glowing Stephanie was.

Stephanie grinned at him and hurried to squeeze into the cab with her love and her friend. They started off towards Lisa's place, chatting the whole way as House stared outside his window almost moodily.

The trio pulled up to Lisa's place rather quickly, and Steph whipped out her phone to text her sister about their arrival.

In no time, because Lisa is well aware that in New York, it does not do well to dawdle in getting down to your cab, she made it downstairs and into the front seat of the cab. "My don't you all look almost as gorgeous as I do."

"I'm obviously prettier." House scoffed. "And Wilson would fill out your dress better."

"Hun, you seem to be doing this thing where your mouth is moving. Try to fix that," she smirked at him. "Then you'll be prettier."

He raised an eyebrow to her, almost put off by her. A small laugh escaped him as he realized she wasn't much like her sister, and as much as he liked Steph, this Perry would definitely be more fun and far more challenging.

Stephanie also raised a brow and snuggled into Wilson, feeling slightly uncomfortable now that she was stuck, with Wilson, between the battling forces of Snarky and Stubborn. "So... Anyone for dinner?"

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A/N: So now you know about Darling Stephanie :] Of course, you knew before, but no matter.

And Again, I AM SO SORRY FOR MY ABSENCE!!!!! :[ I'll try to make it up to you. I will give you Huddy! Soon enough… .


	21. It Ain’t So Bad

Chapter Twenty-one: It Ain't So Bad

Disclaimer: Dude, SOOOOO SORRY for the wait. AGAIN. :[ (David Shore owns [H]ouse)

Dinner went by as one would expect it, with House and Lisa at each other's throats in an almost flirtatious manner, and Stephanie and Wilson giving each other knowing looks the entire time they watched the ongoing battle of wits between the two. The rest of the evening had much of the same feeling, even during their viewing of Wicked in which House choose, oddly, to sit beside Lisa as opposed to his best friend. Not that Wilson minded terribly, after all he was sitting by Stephanie, and most of the night he was able to shrug off the feeling that something wasn't quite right with her and enjoy himself.

The group walked (or hobbled) down the street slowly once they had finished with the musical spectacular, laughing and expressing their favorite parts of the show. Even House seemed to have enjoyed it, though that didn't stop his snarky comments.

"So my darlings," Lisa laughed as they neared the street where they had decided to head in the direction that best suited them, whether it be home of hotel. "Do you want to go get some drinks before we part ways?"

Steph looked at her sister hesitantly before she shook her head. "I uh, no. Not tonight, Lisa."

"You haven't had one drink tonight, love." She replied, a knowing look in her eyes. "Sobriety something you picked up in Jersey?"

"Not the only thing she picked up in Jersey." House mumbled, shoving a cold hand into his pocket. Before Steph's glare could become anything more, he quickly added, "I'm up for a drink."

Lisa smirked and nudged him playfully, "That all you're up for?"

"You have to buy me dinner first to get an answer to that sort of question."

Wilson blushed slightly and shook his head at his friend and gripped Steph's hand tightly. "Um, wow, well, Stephanie and I are going to go turn in… We'll uh… See you tomorrow?"

"Unless you want me to check in with you when I get home, Mommy."

Steph rolled her eyes and tugged Wilson towards the cab she was flagging down, "That's ok darling, Mommy and Daddy trust you completely. Be good and don't do anything we wouldn't."

"Um, ew, I'm not sleeping with Wilson."

Wilson whined softly, now uncomfortable with the situation as the others giggled. "I'll see you tomorrow, House."

"Have a good night you two." Lisa smiled, waving at her sister as she and Wilson slid into their cab. After they had peeled away, she turned her attention to House. Smiling up at him and smoothing out his tie, she raised an eyebrow and asked in an oh too appealing voice, "So, Doctor, what's your poison?"

Two hours and a few scotches and bourbons later, House found himself making the trip up the four flights of stairs to Lisa's apartment with surprising ease.

"Why in the hell are there no elevators in your building?" He asked, panting slightly from the trip up as he wobbled up to her door.

Lisa grinned and unlocked the door, sliding against it so that the tired doctor could make his way passed her. "Old building. I kind of like it."

A scoff escaped him as he looked around the spacious apartment, his eyes falling on an old, dusty baby grand. "That makes one of us."

Making his way over he glanced behind him to look at her, "You play?"

"My ex-husband did." She sighed, making her way towards the kitchen after depositing her purse on the coffee table. "I have no talent for music, unlike the rest of my family. Want another scotch?"

"On the rocks, please." His reply was soft as he was focused on the piano, and he sat and lifted the cover to find the keys in the same unused condition as the outside of the poor instrument. He smirked and placed his hands on the keys, playing softly, "Your siblings are musically inclined? Didn't know that."

"Oh yeah." Lisa laughed, walking into the room and seating herself next to him on the bench and sliding his drink in front of him. "I should give you Stephanie's demo CDs she made while she was in college. She would have gotten a record deal if she hadn't decided to get engaged."

House raised an eyebrow at this but continued to play as the tipsy girl next to him revealed delightful secrets about his best friend's girl. "Jungle bunny was engaged? She has demo tracks? So much useful information in one night."

"Oh yeah, but she broke it off with whatever his name was and went to nursing school to please my parents. They didn't care for her theatre… stuff… as a career anyway. That's why all of us are professionals instead of rock stars."

"I know the feeling." He nodded, lifting a hand to grab his drink.

Lisa looked up at him, a small smile on her face as she leaned in to him, "What are you playing."

With a shrug of his shoulders he mumbled, "Just something I wrote for someone."

"You wrote it? It's beautiful."

He closed the lid, hiding the keys and stopping the music and his thoughts quickly. "It isn't finished."

"It's still beautiful." She smiled, looking at him a moment longer. "Anyway, did you want to watch a movie, have another drink, sleep on the couch… Sleep in the bed?"

"Boy you're subtle, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't have to be in the bed if you wouldn't want me there, Dr. House."

He gave her a half smile and finished the rest of his drink, "Why would I come back here if I didn't want you in the bed, Ms. Perry?"

Wilson and Stephanie had a wordless ride back to their hotel, and for many reasons neither of them was saying aloud. Wilson was concerned for his friend, of course, because he knew that he would most likely be making some mistakes that would deter his… relationship with Cuddy, but primarily he was concerned with Steph's odd behavior over the past few days. Stephanie couldn't help but be overwhelmed with thoughts of how on earth she was going to explain everything to Wilson.

And, after an also silent ride up to their room, Wilson sighed and decided he had had enough of the quiet.

"So, I don't know if it's just me, but the last few days I've sensed that you're… Kind of… Not yourself… And I was wondering if it was something I did or said and I just… I want to talk about it."

Steph turned, a tad shocked even though she shouldn't have been, and looked at him. "I- no! Why would you think you've done something?"

"Because… Well you've never been like this before and I just am really concerned. I don't want to be left in the dark, and if there's anything I can do to make you feel better I want to. I want to fix… this?"

She smiled slightly, laughing quietly as he stood there nervously. "Baby, you haven't done anything wrong."

"Good… So what is wrong?"

"I've just been… Thinking, a lot."

"About?"

"Well…" She licked her lips softly and looked down at the floor, trying to focus on what House had told her earlier. "How to… How to tell you that I'm pregnant."

Wilson looked at her with the same gaze he had held for their entire conversation, slowly allowing her words to sink in. "You're… Pregnant?"

As she nodded and slowly began to cry, Wilson's brain began to unfreeze and he scooped her into his arms. "Stephanie, don't cry… Why are you crying anyway?"

"Because I know that you don't want kids and I don't know how this happened."

"It's ok…" He smiled, softly running a hand through her hair. "It's ok. I love you… And I love any baby that we have together."

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes and on her cheeks, "Really?"

"Of course, Steph… I… I love you. Everything is fine. It's better than fine, it's… Really great."

He wiped at the tears running down her face as she smiled up at him, leaning in and kissing her softly. "We should probably get out of the hallway now."

"We probably should." She agreed, laughing slightly as she kissed him again.

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A/N: Muhaha you have to wait to see what happens with House .

Also Sorry for my absence and Happy Thanksgiving!


	22. He Takes Off Her Dress, Now

Risky Business

**Disclaimer: Firstly I would like to BEG your forgiveness as I have not updated this with a real chapter since (OMG) Thanksgiving. I am SO sorry. I honestly just had so many personal issues between then and now that I desperately needed to sort out that kept me from writing this, and it was terribly unfair to all of you. :[ I will do my VERY best to update more regularly as I feel I am back into the groove of things, however I won't make promises and disappoint any of you anymore. (BTW, David Shore owns [H]ouse)**

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Chapter Twenty-two: He Takes Off Her Dress, Now

He kissed her quickly, stumbling slightly over his shoes as they made their way, lips pressed together and breath hot, to the bedroom. She loosened his tie and felt behind her for the doorframe, making sure that they wouldn't crash into what could be a closed door as he reached behind and unzipped her dress with great dexterity. A soft sigh escaped her as his lips moved down her neck, stopping her hands where they were against his chest, fingers tightly grasping at the buttons keeping him from her.

He yanked her dress off with such fervor that she thought he was going to knock her to the ground. A giggle escaped her as she leaned into him, her scantily clad body held tightly against his chest as she stepped out of the dress and pressed her lips to his.

A groan escaped her as he licked his lips in the middle of their passionate lip lock, brushing his dry tongue across her own cracking lips. Her dress had finally found it's way to the floor, and he looked down at her sheer black tights and willed them to follow in suit.

"You're… so… unbelievable…" His voice was hardly a whisper as her examined her barely covered body between kisses, barely able to concentrate on the task at hand due simply to the overwhelmingly arousing image of her in her lingerie and high heels.

"And you talk too much…" She smiled, panting softly as she forced his shirt off of him. "WAY too much."

"I- I'm sorry-"

"No, shut up." Her giggles felt soft and tingly against his mouth, and again he groaned as he slid his hands down her curvy figure, hooking his fingers into the hem of her tights upon reaching it.

"I love you, Steph. So much."

Wilson smiled as Stephanie pulled her lips away from his, looking up into his eyes as she rested her forehead against his and slowly ran her hands through his thick, brown hair.

"I love you too, James."

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Somehow they hadn't ended up in bed. House didn't really know how that had worked out, nor had he really cared. He was particularly content with their current position, sitting on her couch, barefoot, scotch in hand as she leaned into him and allowed him to watch some (shockingly adult) movies that she owned with her.

"I… Is that even legal?"

"Are you asking rhetorically, or are you actually curious?"

"Rhetorically." He muttered, leaning forward with keen interest as he watched the god-awful things going on on-screen. "But out of curiosity, is it?"

Lisa grinned and reached for her drink that sat on the coffee table, "In some states."

"It looks painful."

"I'm sure it is."

House grinned at her and shook his head, pouring himself yet another glass of scotch as the movie ended. "You realize that if anyone decided to sue the sick fucks that made this that you could end up being their lawyer, right? How do you sleep at night?"

"Typically with someone." She smirked. "And I wouldn't be their attorney. This production company is based in Oregon."

"I see." He relaxed back into the couch and put an arm around her, lightly running his hands through her now loose hair. "You know, you're a rarity among women."

With a raised eyebrow she turned her head up to look at him, amusement written all over her not so sober face. "Am I?"

"Yeah. Cuddy would NEVER watch porn with me, or… Or drink scotch."

"Cuddy?"

"Yeah." He sighed, leaning his head back and putting his empty glass on the piano bench. "Dean of Medicine where I work. Real hard ass."

"And you like her."

"I could give two fucks about her." He lied, turning back to her quickly. "I enjoyed banging her, though. She's a hot piece of ass."

"Enjoyed? Past tense?"

"Yes, past tense."

Lisa nodded slowly, a small smile still on her lips, "So… You liked banging Cuddy, but you don't like Cuddy?"

"Right. Are you sure you have a degree, I assumed this conversation was easy to follow but you seem to be having a hard time grasping simple concepts."

"Oh aren't you a riot." She scoffed slightly and thought about all of this. "So you just like to have sex with anyone, regardless of your feelings for them."

"I- No. Yes. No. I don't really want to talk about this right now." He sighed softly and went back to playing with her hair. "You have nice hair, for a lawyer."

She rolled her eyes and slid a hand up his chest, slowly picking at the buttons of his shirt as she went. "You're surprisingly irritating, for a doctor."

He licked his lips softly, leaning towards her, "As long as you like it, that's what matters, right?"

"Right." Lisa grinned and ran her nose along his, lightly touching her lips to his. She tasted like scotch, he realized after licking his lips, and he wasn't use to it, nor did he really like it. He actually preferred wine on a woman's lips, and he liked business attire more than formalwear.

"Here…" She whispered, taking her silk scarf off of the table and holding it up to him.

"What am I going to do with this?"

"Nothing. I, however, am going to do this."

His brow furrowed in confusion as she wrapped it around his head, covering his eyes, and tied it loosely in the back. And, while this was strange and no doubt leading up to something really kinky, he had had about two (or three, maybe four) scotches too many to honestly give a shit. Whatever happened at this point was probably unavoidable, and in the back of his mind he hoped momentarily that she wasn't a sociopath, because he really didn't want to die in this situation.

"Is there a reason for this? You aren't going to kill me, are you?"

She laughed softly, sliding her hands down his chest so that she could finish untangling him from his partially buttoned shirt, "No, I wasn't planning on it. I just want you to relax, and just do what you want to do. Whatever comes naturally to you."

"I'll see how natural I can get with a blindfold on. Don't hold your breath for anything too exciting."

"I'm not holding my breath for anything." She smiled, not that he could see it. He slid down on the couch, pulling her on top of him as he did so, and ran a hand into her hair.

"I'm glad for your faith in me."

"Do you always talk during foreplay?"

"Not always," He inhaled sharply as he felt her hands at his belt. "Though I find it's become a more and more common occurrence."

"Well I like it."

His mind grew hazy as his belt slid out of its loops and fell to the floor, followed quickly by his shirt that he helped her remove. Had it not been for the stupid amounts of alcohol he had consumed, he probably wouldn't be in this… delicate situation. Not that he minded, of course. At least, in that moment he didn't mind. No, in that moment it was just he and she, and she was slowly undressing him as she placed soft, hot kisses on his neck. It was just he and she, him and her, Greg and Lisa, as it had been before and as it… should be? Right? Yes, Greg and Lisa did sound right so why did this feel so foreign?

He pushed his inane thoughts to the back of his mind as she softly sank her teeth into his neck, biting and nibbling her way up to his stubbled jaw, and his typically deft hands struggled to loosen the clasp of her dress as his blood grew hot and her hands combed through his hair.

She tugged at the collar of his shirt, urging him to sit up so that she could remove both articles of fabric separating her from his skin, and he obliged, using the moment to unzip her dress.

His shirts and her dress now on the floor, they found themselves up and off the couch, heading towards her bedroom. She lead him slowly taking her time as he blindly followed, layering soft kisses down the length of her neck.

Lisa smirked at him as she tugged him towards her bed, pulling him on top of her as she leaned back into the large, fluffy pillows that adorned it. His slacks had already become a mere decoration on the floor, along with their other discarded garments.

He trailed his hands all along the length of her body, lightly fingering the soft fabric that encased her no doubt glorious breasts, and gulped slightly as he ran his lips over hers. "God, Lisa…"

"Just Lisa works too." She smiled, softly biting at his lower lip before gently working her way into a kiss.

"Just… Lisa?" He mumbled, mildly confused that the lips between his didn't match with the lips he longed to be kissing.

"Yeah." Lisa pulled away from him slightly, a quizzical look on her face. "Not… God…?"

"I… I'm just confused." House sat up and pushed the scarf away from his eyes, blinking slightly as his eyes adjusted to her, sitting there next to him. "I… I think I thought… You were someone else…"

She smiled tenderly and ran a hand through his hair, "Someone you don't give two fucks about?"

He rubbed at his eyes and swallowed, trying his best to alleviate the lump that had formed in his throat. "Um, uh… Yeah. I'm… Look, I'm sorry-"

"It's ok." Lisa whispered. "We don't have to… You know, do anything. At all. We can just sleep and… You can talk about her if you want to."

He nodded slowly, wiping at his eyes and hoping that in his drunken stupor he wouldn't start crying. "That sounds fine. As long as we leave out the talking part."

"Ok." She laughed, getting up so that she could put on some more appropriate bedtime clothes. "By the way, what was Cuddy's name, again?"

House scoffed, feeling terrible for the stupidity in which he had just engaged. "Lisa."

Lisa nodded, another small, sad smile appearing on her face, "Thought so."

* * *

A/N: So… I hope this made up for my absence! D: If not, I will throw you some huddy goodness in the upcoming chapters! :D


	23. I May Have Faked It

Risky Business

**Disclaimer: David Shore owns [H]ouse**

Chapter Twenty-three: I May Have Faked It

Of all the (few) things he was absurdly grateful for, the fact that Wilson had not really pushed for information on what had happened the night before between him and Lisa was very, _very_ close to the top of House's short list. No matter that the handsome doctor had seemed preoccupied when he and Stephanie had shown up on Lisa's doorstep at ten the next morning with coffee and donuts, a quick breakfast before the trio's hasty departure from the hustle and bustle of the big city back to the hustle and bustle of the workplace.

And he was also grateful that no one had noticed when he very privately and quietly exchanged numbers with and thanked Lisa before they left, for everything. Mostly for understanding. No, no, HELL no, mostly for not ratting him out to her sister, or to his best friend. Yes, that, in fact, was probably at the very top of his, 'Few Things for Which I am Absurdly Grateful'.

He sensed that Wilson was perplexed by his silence as they rode back to Jersey on the train. It was probably the way he had been staring at him, with that stupid, quizzical look on his face that House absolutely DESPISED.

"See something you like, buddy?" House snarked, scooting lower in his seat and wondering if he could pull his face into anymore of a frown without any actual work on his part. Probably not.

"What's wrong with you?" His reply was quiet, probably so that he wouldn't disturb Steph as she slumbered, her head against his shoulder.

He smirked slightly, "Usually you're the one to point out all of my flaws, Wilson."

"No, I mean… Today… Why are you so quiet?"

"I don't want to wake sleeping prego beauty there."

Wilson blushed slightly as a smile spread across his face, and he turned to kiss his girlfriend's forehead. "How did you know?"

"Please, best friends tell each other everything." He rolled his eyes and scoffed, a small grin playing at his lips. "You happy? Sad? Sociopathic? Somewhere in between?"

He furrowed his brows, slightly irritated but more so thoughtful. After all, he hadn't really thought about his feelings on the subject, other than joy that Stephanie wasn't seriously ill, or contemplating leaving him or something drastic like that. "Pleasantly surprised."

"Huh. Interesting."

Wilson raised a brow to his friend, lightly running his fingers up and down Steph's arm, "Why?"

"Oh nothing. Just thinking of racial slurs that I can throw at your half breed child."

"Very funny. Now uh… back to you. Are you… ok?"

"Blew."

A long pause filled the air as Wilson looked at House, hoping that his friend hadn't completely lost his mind. "Blue?"

"Blew. I'll call your kid Blew."

He sighed loudly, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "Blew. As in Black and Jewish. Ha. Ha. Ha. You are a SCREAM."

House scoffed and smiled in an almost embarrassed way, "Oh flattery will get you nowhere, good doctor."

"Fine. Fine, we won't talk about what you did, or didn't, judging by your less than amicable mood, do last night. We'll drop it."

"Like it's hot?"

Wilson rolled his eyes, mumbling under his breath, "Out of date reference."

Puffing his lower lip out, House sank lower into his seat and turned to pout towards the window. "Screw you."

-/-/-

Sadly for some of them, Monday rolled around all too quickly and House found himself seated at his desk, almost on time (for once). He didn't feel too bad about it though, considering the only person that was on time was Taub. Kutner had drug himself in, looking like hell and a hangover, and he was followed closely by Foreman and Thirteen, who both looked strangely energized and exhausted at the same time. But again, he didn't feel bad, hell he didn't give two shits since they didn't have a case, so after badgering them about their weekend for a few minutes he waved them off, assuming they'd all run down to do their clinic hours, except maybe Kutner who he suspected would probably camp out in the men's room.

And so there he sat, feet on his desk, large red tennis ball in hand as he mulled over his own weekend. It had been fun, he guessed. Emotionally draining and kind of irritating once he thought about it, but fun. Lisa was fun, and he suspected that if he ever got over Cuddy (fat chance) that he'd like to see how much capacity for fun she really had to offer.

He was so busy being absorbed in his brilliant memories and near fantasies that he hadn't even heard the door open, so he was mildly surprised when he heard her throat clear.

"Why are you here while your team is in the clinic?"

"Uh…" He replied dumbly, looking up at her from over the tops of his shoes, "Because I'm the boss, so I make the rules?"

Cuddy scoffed. "Wrong. _I'm_ the boss, and _I _make the rules. If you don't have a case you can get your ass down to the clinic."

"Wow, someone's got a bad case of IBS."

She quirked a brow at him before crossing her arms over her chest, "You're turning me telling you to do your job into me having Irritable Bowel Syndrome?"

"Irritable Bowel Syndrome?" It was his turn to look quizzical, only he, of course, was not confused, and she, of course, knew that. "I meant Irritable Bitch Syndrome."

Her arms fell to her sides and she rolled her eyes, already tired of talking to him and it was only, she checked her watch, oh God, it was only ten fourteen. With a final shake of her head she turned to head back to the door, "Just… do some work."

"Hey, Cuddy wait-" His feet were on the ground as quickly as he could get them there, and he stood as if to make his way towards her. "I needed to ask you something."

She turned slowly, already halfway out the door, "What, House?"

"Are there any slots for physical therapy open?"

Cuddy's mouth dropped open slightly and she removed herself from the doorway, slowly inching back over to him, "You want to try physical therapy again?"

"I need it after the damn work out Stephanie's sister put me through." He shook his head and looked at her, "I swear to God, if you thought Wilson's little buddy was an athletic little slice than you should just meet her sister."

And oh man, if looks could kill, well, he didn't think he'd be dead but he sure as hell was sure the way Cuddy's face fell broke what little remained of his heart into tiny little pieces_. Shit_, he thought, _I meant the fucking stairs_-

"Nice, House. Very mature. If you're serious about the therapy… yeah. One o'clock slot is open." She bit her bottom lip and looked like she might want to say something else, but if she had she decided against it and instead slipped out into the hallway.

House groaned and rolled his eyes, looking towards the high heavens and asking the gods he didn't believe in a very sarcastic, 'Why?' before taking off as quickly as he could after her. "Cuddy! Wait!"

"House, what- Why can't you just do something without bothering me?"

"Well, firstly because in order to do that one of us would need to cease to exist and secondly, I will. Just… Why are you upset? I didn't do anything wrong."

She glared at him, her pale blue eyes piercing his, "No, you didn't. You're just an ass."

"An ass because… I insinuated I slept with someone who wasn't you?"

Cuddy looked around frantically before pulling him closer to her and keeping her voice low, "Can you please not be so loud! And… What do you mean 'Insinuated'?"

He smirked at her, enjoying now not only the close proximity of her body but the fact that he had made totally and completely her jealous. "Well… I didn't say we had sex four times, yet you still look so… Mad. Could it be because somewhere deep down in your frigid heart you… you like me? And, and could it be because down under that ice cold bitch persona you're actually, you know, kinda jealous?"

"Not in your dreams." She seethed, stepping away from him and heading towards the elevator. "Six hours of clinic duty today!"

His jaw dropped, "Unfair!"

The elevator doors dinged open and she stepped inside, turning and giving him the coldest, bitchiest glare that she could muster before they closed again.

"Deal with it."

"Deal with it." He mocked childishly before looking around at the nurses and interns that happened to be starring at him. "What?"

-/-/-

A/N: Sad House is so delightful .


	24. I Came Here to Make You Dance Tonight

Risky Business

**Disclaimer: **David Shore owns [H]ouse. Sigh.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-four: I Came Here to Make You Dance, Tonight 

Well. That was, needless to say, not good. House sighed deliberately before trudging down the hall to his friend's office, knocking dejectedly upon the door and waiting for an answer. He was met by Wilson, who's bright, albeit forced, smile melted into a look of confusion as he stared up at his crippled companion.

"Are you ok?" He swung the door open so that House could wander in and plop himself onto either the couch or a chair, however today he was having none of that and instead seated himself directly upon the desk. Wilson rolled his eyes and made his way around to his desk chair, "I suppose that answers my question."

"Do you think it'd be a bad idea to call up Steph's sister and ask her if she wanted to have a wild fling for awhile?"

"Yes."

"Wow, you didn't even have a hint of hesitation there."

"Look, House." The doe eyed doctor looked up at him almost sympathetically. "Cuddy is being an idiot. You know she's being an idiot."

House turned and gave him a puzzled look, "Did I say anything about Cuddy? I could have sworn I didn't even mention the name _Lisa_, much less _Cuddy_-"

"Yeah, yeah, but I'm not an idiot."

"Right, Cuddy's the idiot."

"Right." Wilson paused, furrowing his brow. "Wait- Whatever, she'll come around. If you want her as badly as you seem to then you can… you know, wait and not make any stupid choices pertaining to the other Lisa. Or any woman, for that matter."

"So she gets to bang Peter Pumpkin Eater and I get nothing? That seems TOTALLY unfair."

He shrugged and smiled slightly as House's shoulders slumped forward. "You get to hold it over her head forever."

"True." House smirked, twirling his cane between his fingers as he thought about all of the delightful things that could arise from this. "Very true."

"Well," He continued, sliding off the desk and making his way towards the door, "Nice chat. I have to go and pretend to do my clinic hours now so… I'll see you later."

"Right." Wilson nodded with another eye roll. "Have a great time."

After his seemly endless hours of absolutely soul draining clinic duty House called it a day, packed up his things, and headed home. However, upon spending a mere hour there, alone, he found that he was extremely bored, and extremely out of alcoholic beverages to consume. This was a problem, a sever problem, because if he was going to be this bored, and alone, at home, he didn't want to do it sober. He sighed loudly and grabbed up his keys before heading back out the door, determined either to find some companionship or booze. Maybe even both, especially if one or the other was free.

He contemplated running, erm, driving, over to the store just around the corner before deciding that tonight seemed like an unplanned visit type of night, so he mounted his bike and sped off to Wilson's apartment.

When he had finally made it up the stairs and to the door he almost felt as though this was… Well, a dumb idea.

_Too late to turn back now_, he thought, rolling his eyes as he rapped on the door.

It opened seconds later to reveal a tired looking Stephanie, and upon seeing him her eyes brightened and she smiled warmly. "House! What a surprise, James didn't tell me you'd be coming over."

"Well to be fair, Jimmy didn't really know about it either."

"No worries," She laughed, opening the door. "We're just babysitting."

"Babysitting?" He questioned, slipping into the apartment and looking around for said babies cautiously. "But… why?"

"After informing our boss of our… situation, Cuddy asked him if we'd ever like to babysit Rachel and of course James said yes. She then asked if he'd like to watch her tonight… And, of course, he said yes." She sighed slightly and placed her hands on her hips. "Without consulting me."

House scoffed sarcastically, "How like him."

"Isn't it just?"

"Is that doctor House?" A small voice piped up from the other room. House raised an eyebrow at Steph and she smiled again. "Lacie isn't really a baby, but she's part of the babysitting deal."

"How fun." He rolled his eyes and limped out of the hallway, only to find said not-baby sitting at the table in her bulky wheelchair, sheets of printer paper spread out in front of her. Lacie gave him a huge, gapped tooth grin and brushed her hair away from her face. "Hi, Doctor House!"

House tried his best to repress a grin as he took a seat at the table with his former patient, glancing briefly over the papers covering the tabletop. "Hey there, Short Circuit. How've you been?"

"Better." She nodded seriously, grabbing the pencil that she had set down to fix her hair again and start in on a drawing. "I still can't use my arm or leg though. It's very problematic and, more importantly, awkward."

He laughed softly as his friend walked into the room, the tiny Rachel cuddled up in his arms. "What are you doing here, House?"

"I'm having a chat with Ginger, here, Wilson. What are you doing?"

"Babysitting, obviously." He rolled his eyes and looked down at the little girl in his arms, smiling slightly. "She's asleep."

"Don't care." House scoffed, turning his attention back to Lacie. "Grown ups are so weird, fawning over babies like they do."

"I agree." She nodded. "It's a bit absurd, if you ask me. But then again, I like puppies a lot."

Steph laughed softly at the two at the table and lightly kissed Wilson's cheek. "I'm going to run and grab dinner, since you have some help other than me now. Want anything in particular?"

"I would love some Thai food." House piped up, smiling sweetly. "Thank you for asking, Steph."

"Thai food does sound appetizing." Lacie agreed, looking up at her two babysitters. "Were you asking us as well?"

Wilson smiled down at the redhead and shrugged slightly, "Thai food sounds good to me, if that's what you want Lacie. A-and of course, Steph, you should just you know, get whatever you want."

House rolled his eyes and Stephanie grinned, "I'm fine with Thai, James. Are you all going to be ok without me?"

Lacie giggled slightly and looked down at her drawing. "If not, I'm sure doctor Wilson knows your cell phone number and we can let you know."

With a smile and another kiss goodbye Steph grabbed her keys and made her way out the door, trusting her boys to take care of the wee girls.

"She's gone, Short Circuit, now we just need to get rid of Wilson and the babies and we can invite all our friends over for a party." House smirked at her and picked up another pencil that was lying on the table and starting in on his own drawing. Wilson retorted with a sigh and sat down at the table gingerly, so as not to disturb the sleeping babe in his arms.

"That's a bit outrageous, doctor House. After all, your friends are here, and I don't have any friends."

Wilson quirked a brow in surprise, "You don't? Why not?"

"I'm home schooled." She replied matter-o-factly. "So I don't see anyone else my age. I don't have time to make friends anyway, I have more important things to do."

"Such as draw and not die from life threatening diseases?" House scoffed, glancing sadly at the kid sitting next to him.

"Such as read, do physical therapy, work on my studies. I'm a very busy person, I'm going to finish high school in a few years, and take my SATs and ACTs so I have to study a lot."

"Jes- Um, GOSH, doesn't your dad think mingling with kids your own age is important?"

"Well… He did, until I told him I didn't really care. They aren't exactly equipped for in-depth conversation, if you know what I mean."

House rolled his eyes and laughed slightly, "Kid, it doesn't get any better. Have you ever tried to have an in-depth conversation with an adult? Say… Cuddy?"

"Yes." Lacie smiled, looking up at him and grabbing a new piece of paper. "It was a refreshing change from only really conversing with my tutor and my dad. What are you drawing?"

He looked at the paper, which at that point only had two think scribbles on it and tried desperately to think of something clever to say. "I was going for Wilson's eyebrows. How do you think I did?"

Wilson glared at his friend and shook his head, doing his best to sneak a glance at the paper without him noticing. Lacie, however, leaned over to look at it, crumbling her face as she studied House's masterpiece. "No. I don't think you're doing a very good job."

"Gee thanks, hot rod. Like yours are any better."

She giggled slightly, eyes sparkling as she went back to her own works of art.

* * *

A/N: This chapter will be continued and it will move the plot forward, I swear it isn't just filler. Hehe :)


	25. Day Old Blues

Risky Business

**Disclaimer: **If I owned anything I seriously wouldn't be sitting here writing fanfiction. Ok, maybe I would.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-five: Day Old Blues 

House behaved surprisingly well that night, sitting and coloring with the disabled ginger while Wilson cooed over the sleeping (boring) baby. He was even well behaved when Stephanie returned with promised Thai food, shockingly enough. Usually he would go at it with her until Wilson was exhausted from watching them, however that evening he was surprisingly… calm. It was unnerving to everyone, except for maybe Lacie who seemed to particularly enjoy his company, now that she could remember who he was for more than a few minutes at a time.

Maybe his niceness was due to the fact that he was actually thoroughly enjoying his conversation with Lacie. Perhaps, as Wilson would have noted had he cared to pay attention, it was due to their similar thought process and even more similar maturity level. House didn't really mind either way. On the contrary he found this ability to converse with her fascinating. He wished Rachel could talk and wondered if she too would be able to hold such engaging conversation, yet she just sat in Wilson's arms and drooled, occasionally making irritated faces as she relieved herself. He decided she would not be engaging, no matter how well she could articulate her bowel movements.

Stephanie made her way over to the table after clearing away the remains of dinner and washing the dishes, sliding into the chair next to her boyfriend and kissing his cheek softly. She smiled when he blushed and turned to look at the others seated around her, "Are you all content to sit here and draw, or would you like to watch a movie?"

"What kind of movie?" House asked, eyebrows rising slightly.

"A kid friendly movie, House." Wilson sighed, shifting Rachel from his arms to Steph's.

"Now, when you say kid friendly-"

"A children's movie, House."

He wrinkled his nose and looked down at the drawing of the unicorn he was diligently working on, "I'm ok."

"I'm ok, too." Lacie grinned at the adults. "I'm enjoying this drawing and talking with doctor House."

Wilson managed to smile, "That's… great, Lacie."

"However, if you aren't having fun I won't mind if you watch a movie with Miss Stephanie."

"That's thoughtful of you, Lacie." Stephanie laughed, standing up. "James, why don't we put Rachel down? Can you get her blanket?"

"Oh, sure." He smiled at the tiny red head and stood up. "Keep an eye n House, please."

"I'm not a child." The man scoffed, picking up a red crayon. "Should he poop rainbows or butterflies?"

Lacie shrugged as Wilson rolled his eyes and left the table, "He should poop what horses poop."

"That's no fun. I think he'll poop rainbows."

"Because unicorns don't exist you can make them do anything." She responded, still hard at work on her stick figures.

"In art you can make anything do anything. Like making paint splatters sell for thousands of dollars."

Lacie smiled and nodded in full agreement. "Or make yourself walk."

House's shoulders slumped slightly, "Yeah. Or that."

"You can treat it symbolically, too. Like, I could draw myself flying, or as a bird, to show my freedom."

"Specifically freedom from your hot set of wheels?"

She shrugged her shoulder, "And from paralysis. Wouldn't you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because drawing myself better won't make my leg stop hurting."

"Technically nothing will. Well, medicine may. Sometimes."

He rolled his eyes, "Yeah, some times."

"Miss Lisa says physical therapy is suppose to help." The little girl sighed and dropped her pencil. "But I don't know. It hasn't helped me at all."

"Well it's only been a couple of weeks, kid."

"How long have you been doing it?"

"I… I haven't."

"Oh. Why?"

Why indeed? Maybe because deep down, he liked being miserable. Well, no, he didn't think that was it. It was more of a fear that if it did help he wouldn't be himself. The fear that misery was a bigger part of him than he was.

"I'm lazy."

Lacie rolled her eyes. "I bet I'd get better faster than you. Especially since you're lazy."

"I'll take that bet. First one to recovery gets frozen yogurt."

She raised an eyebrow and grinned at him, "Can it be from Yogurt Land?"

"Sure."

"How will we know since you don't go to physical therapy?"

"I'm going to start this week."

"Oh." She picked up her pencil again, her dark mood obviously forgotten. "How convenient."

"I thought so." He scribbled his name along the bottom of his less than stellar picture and handed it to her. "You can have it. Irritate Daddy Dearest with it."

"I don't think it will irritate him, he just won't think it's funny. He doesn't like poop jokes."

"That's not- Never mind."

Lacie grinned and wrote her name (in cursive) on the back of her drawing before handing it shyly to the doctor to examine. "You can have this one, so you don't forget me."

"I won't. Trust me, I've tried. You keep turning up all over." House paused a moment and looked at the colorful work of nine-year-old art. "What is it?"

"It's you and me and my dad and Miss Lisa on a pirate ship. See, you and Miss Lisa are holding hands and my daddy is holding my hand."

"I see why you don't want Daddy to have this one."

The redhead's cheeks turned a shade similar to her long locks, "Well… I know Dad likes her, and she likes him, but I think she likes you more."

House smirked and nodded at the kid, "Very perceptive. She totally wants me."

Lacie shrugged, "I guess I don't care either way. I just think if you two like each other so much maybe you should go out."

"Agreed." He sighed, folding up the picture and putting it into his pocket. "I guess it doesn't really change anything though, does it?"

"Nope. And I still can't fly."

He was about to comment on how absolutely depressing she was when there was a sound knock at the door. House glanced at the kid with a puzzled look, "Daddy knows how to keep a date short, huh?"

She looked just as confused as he did and shrugged, "My bed time isn't until ten, so they shouldn't be back until nine thirty. This is weird. Oh well, will you help me clean up?"

"Could I not and say its part of your therapy?"

"No, House." Wilson sighed as he passed by, rolling his eyes at his friend as he went to answer the door. "Please, for the love of God, be nice."

He rolled his eyes and scooped up a handful of pencils. "I'm_ always_ nice."

"Right." His friend scoffed, pulling the door open, "Peter, Lisa, didn't expect you back so soon…"

The couple in question stepped through the door quietly, Peter mumbling something about needing to turn in early or some other bullshit. Cuddy, who upon entering had looked almost awkward, narrowed her eyes upon seeing House. "What are you doing here?"

* * *

A/N: And I stop here! Haha, I really wanted to squeeze in another update before my last vacation of the summer, since I'll be gone for two weeks! Sorry this update was kind of late, I have actually been strangely busy. :] Enjoy!


	26. Straw Dog

Risky Business

**Disclaimer: **No Ownage.

Chapter Twenty-six: Straw Dog

"I'm hanging out with my friends." He answered Cuddy's curt question with a quick response and a raised eyebrow as he wrapped a rubber band around Lacie's colored pencils. "Thought you weren't going to be back till nine. Ish."

"Plans change." She huffed, doing her best to compose herself before heading over to gather Rachel from Stephanie and express her gratitude. Wilson smiled a slight, shaky smile and looked from his boss to his friend with a nervous glance before putting an arm around Stephanie's waist. "Do um. Do you need help with anything?"

"I…" Cuddy looked down at her daughter, now all bundled up in her carrier, cooing happily, and then to Peter. "I don't. Peter, do you…?"

"No, I think we're good to go, aren't we kiddo?"

Lacie looked up at her father, gripping her drawings in her hand anxiously. There was far too much tension in the room for her nine-year-old self to handle, and she expressed her distaste for the situation by allowing her eyes to fill with tears. Not knowing why she was about to cry made her feel even worse though, so she looked at House with some expectancy, as if she thought he could save her from the atmosphere of the room. "Thank you for the picture."

Everyone in the room, disregarding Rachel and Lacie, raised an eyebrow at the redhead's response, but said nothing. House cleared his throat and nodded, shoving his hand into his pocket where he had put the picture the little girl had made for him. "Yeah, sure, Short Circuit. Like your dad said, you good to go or you need help with anything?"

"I'm ok." She nodded as the doctor shoved her pencils into the backpack settled on the back of her wheelchair. "I just… Can we go?"

"Of course we can." Peter smiled, pulling her away from the table and extending a hand to House. "Thanks for help keeping her entertained."

"Sure." House replied, eyeing his hand warily until he returned it to the back of Lacie's chair. Peter cleared his throat and turned to Steph and Wilson, similarly thanking them for watching the kids while he and Cuddy had been out on their (relatively short) date.

"It was fun." Steph grinned, trying her best not to be affected by the awkwardness that the situation presented. "Any time you need us to, we'll be happy to keep an eye on them."

The man smiled, although it was a tired, unhappy smile that one would pull on just to save face. "Everyone ready?"

"Yes." Lacie piped up, looking up behind her. "Do I have to go to bed when we get home?"

"Not until ten, Lace."

The child grinned and looked up at House, "It was nice to have someone to talk to tonight."

Well… What to say to that? House cleared his throat and looked from the expectant Lacie to her father to Cuddy then back to the freckle faced red head. "Uh… Yeah. It was, huh?"

She grinned her gapped tooth grin and nodded. "See you around."

"Doubt it." He smirked as Peter pushed her away, through the door leading away from Wilson, or, erm, Steph's front room to the biting cold outside. Cuddy cast a strange, long look at House before turning back to Wilson and Steph with one of her larger than life smiles and went on, yet again, about how grateful she was. "Thank you so much, you two. Have a great night."

"No problem, Doctor Cuddy." Steph nodded, her interest obviously waning as she continued to repeat herself. "You have a good night. We'll see you tomorrow?"

"Um, yes, yes of course." The dean laughed slightly and shouldered Rachel's baby bag before picking up her carrier and heading for the door. "Goodnight, Stephanie. James."

She turned again and looked at House once more with a look that he, honestly, for the life of him could not figure out. He raised an eyebrow as she sighed and nodded to him. "I suppose I'll see you bright and early tomorrow afternoon?"

"If at all." He shrugged, hands back in his pockets. "Want me to… I can walk you to your car?"

"That won't be necessary." She smiled, almost sadly. "You have a good night too."

And with that she was out the door, making her way to her own car as House and his two friends stood awkwardly in the small living room. Steph finally broke the silence by releasing a breath that it seemed that she had been holding onto for hours.

"Awkward."

"Really… Really awkward." Wilson agreed, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"I expect that relationship has taken a turn for the worst." Steph sighed. "It's a shame. She seemed happy."

House scoffed, "Oh, right. Like he'd make her happy."

"Well…" She smirked back, brushing by her boyfriend to head to the kitchen, "If you're so sure you could why are you still in here?"

"She told me she didn't want me to walk her to her car."

Wilson rolled his eyes at his friend, because really, for being such a damn genius he was a real blooming idiot. "House, do you not understand women at all?"

"No, but I bet you do sweetie, which is why you like to wear the high heels when you blow dry your hair."

"I don't wear heels!" He exclaimed, looking over at Stephanie nervously. She quirked a brow at his expression, but otherwise said nothing as she continued into the kitchen to get herself a glass of water, shaking her head the entire way. Wilson cleared his throat and went on, "Maybe she didn't want you to walk her out, but she did obviously want you to follow her. She probably just wanted to say goodbye to Peter without you there to… you know. Mess it up."

House rolled his eyes, "Your faith in my ability to be anything but a loser amazes me."

"I didn't say you were a loser-"

"No worries, Wilson. I understand what you're saying. Now is my time, this is my chance, and I should not squander said precious time standing here shooting the breeze with you."

"Well, we aren't exactly shooting the breeze, but yes-"

"Very well then!" He huffed, grabbing his cane from where it was leaning against the table. "I will go. But don't expect me back."

"We don't!" Steph hollered.

"Oh I forgot about you." House sneered. "Oh well, you'll just have to see me tomorrow, best buddy."

"I can live with that, BFF."

Wilson raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest as House limped towards the door and grinned at him wickedly. "Tomorrow we're making friendship bracelets."

"Just… Go sweep Cuddy off her feet, House."

House dropped his voice an octave or so as he threw the door open. "Very well, Master."

And after his dramatic exit Wilson sighed and made his way into the kitchen where his girl sat on the counter, looking thoughtfully at the glass in her hand. "So. What do you think?"

"I think House is going to have some sever sibling rivalry with our child." She grinned, looking up at Wilson as he slid a hand up to just above her knee. "And I think that he and Cuddy are halfway to happy."

"Yeah." He nodded, feeling a bit more skeptical than he felt he should. "Me too."

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the wait. I just got back from Alaska and literally started classes the next day. Blah. Anyway, I hope to knock out the next few chapters in the next two weeks!


	27. I Do It Just To Feel Alive

Risky Business

Disclaimer: I don't own this. I am stoked for season 7, though. Shockingly. MONDAY!

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Chapter Twenty-seven: I Do it Just to Feel Alive

House limped quickly out of Wilson's apartment, heading down the walkway to the street where Cuddy and Peter had both parked their shiny, expensive cars. As he neared them he noticed that the two were locked in a hug, and that Lacie was peeking through the rearview mirror to see what was going on approximately twenty-five feet behind her. The good, erm, bad, doctor smirked and walked up to Peter's car quietly, opening the passenger side door with hardly a noise and sliding into the seat before turning to look at the child in the back. "So, gimp, what's the scoop on Mr. and Miss Disgusting?"

Lacie quirked a brow at this, but didn't look away from the rearview mirror. "I think they're saying goodbye. Like, goodbye that people say when they break up, and they feel bad about it. I don't know, it seems as though they like each other but not in the way where they want to kiss and hold hands all the time."

"Yeah, because who wants to kiss and hold hands all the time?" House scoffed, still amazed that he had been able to sneak into Bradford's car. He and Cuddy must've been in a pretty deep hug. He made a face at the thought and turned his attention back to the crippled redhead. "That shits gross."

"Shit is a bad word." She sighed, rolling her eyes. "But I completely agree. It gets to the point where it's obnoxious, especially when the two parties aren't really in love."

"What makes you say they aren't?"

"My daddy is in love with my mommy." She snapped fiercely, finally tearing her eyes away from the mirror. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and refocused herself on House. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be harsh."

He shrugged, "Hey, I don't care. I'm not the one with issues that I'm going to have to deal with when I grow up and my daddy gets remarried."

"Excuse me?" This was a new voice, and House and Lacie both cringed upon recognizing it as Peter's. "What are you doing in my car, Doctor House?"

"I was just trying to be polite while you said goodbye to Cuddy. I actually needed to talk to her before she bounced, if it's cool with you, bra'."

Lacie giggled slightly and looked up at her father, "Don't worry, Dad. He was actually trying to be nice so you could say goodbye to Miss Lisa."

Peter sighed heavily and nodded, leaning against his car, "Right. Well, I have said my goodbyes, Doctor House, so… I guess she's… all yours."

"Riiight." House nodded, making a face at Lacie and pulling himself to his feet. "Well, I'll see you later, Bradford. Little Bradford, always nice to speak to you."

"Back at cha'." She grinned. "Have a nice night."

"You too." He smiled, turning to her dad as he pulled himself out of the car. "See ya."

"Yeah." Peter sighed, doing his best to smile weakly as he closed House's door behind him. "Goodbye, House."

As Peter walked around to the driver's door to get in and take off, House limped off towards Cuddy's car, encouraged by the thumbs up given to him by little Lacie. He smiled slightly as he leaned against Cuddy's door and rapped on the window, startling her.

She narrowed her eyes and rolled down the window quickly, "What, House?"

"I just wanted to see what's up, and, you know…"

"No. No I don't know. And what's up isn't your business."

"Heh, talking to Bradford you'd think it was."

A blush crept onto Cuddy's cheeks and her eyes fell o her lap, "Really? What did he say to you?"

"He just… made it seem like you two weren't going to be doing that whole Peter Pumpkin Eater thing."

She rolled her eyes and leaned out the window, "So he just said that we were no longer dating?"

House screwed up his face and shrugged his shoulders, "I… _guess_ he implied that."

"Oh." She smiled sadistically, "So he didn't say anything to you."

"No. Not at all. He did say, 'she's all yours now', whatever that means."

"I'm sure he meant it in reference to speaking to me." She grumbled, snapping her seatbelt on and gripping the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles turned white. Because I am not, despite all of your wild imaginations, all yours."

"I'd like you to be." House replied quietly, looking down at his hands where they nervously twitched on his cane. Her face fell and her grip loosened on the wheel as she turned her eyes up t look at him, "House…"

"You know you want it too, Cuddy!" He exclaimed. Man, mood swings were something he wasn't used to. Who knew he could go from sad and sweet to super bitch in two seconds?

Well, aside from Wilson and Cuddy, of course.

"You have no idea what I want!"

"Obviously it wasn't Bradford."

"You have no idea what went on between Peter and me, House! Don't poke around in business that doesn't concern you!" She gave him an exasperated sigh before turning the key and revving her car's engine to life. "I need to go home and put Rachel to bed."

"Of course you do." He grumbled, pulling away from the window. He wondered why he was so angry. Maybe it was because she hadn't immediately asked him to come home with her after dumping dumpy.

"You know, House-" She didn't finish her sentence, however, as House had turned and pressed his lips against hers, leaning in through the window, feeling more foolish and more childish than he had in, oh gosh, hours. In all seriousness though, he felt completely stupid. This was the sort of thing he had done in college.

The sort of thing that had gotten him in trouble.

The sort of thing that led to the other sorts of things that drove Cuddy away.

And here he was, just doing more stupid things.

She pulled away quickly, pushing him away from her slightly, "Why do you always do that?"

"Because…" He began, not really sure why other than the obvious reasons, to which she clearly was oblivious. "I… I need you."

Cuddy looked up at him sadly, biting her lower lip. "I'll see you tomorrow, House."

And he pulled away, sadly, as she rolled the window up and started off towards home. House kicked himself mentally for not being a normal, rational human being like he usually was. Ok, yes, normal was a stretch, but he could have at least been logical. Of course she wouldn't want him. She didn't before, she wouldn't now.

He sighed loudly and stumbled over to his bike, lamely deciding that seeing her tomorrow was probably the best thing he would ever be able to receive from the devious dean.

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A/N: God, I hate not being able to update faster D: Well, the premiere is next week! Yay!


	28. Don't Waste My Time

Risky Business

Disclaimer: I don't own this. How's everyone been feeling about this season, by the way? It'd be interesting to see how your thoughts compare to mine .

Also, I don't own Yogurtland .

Chapter Twenty-eight: Don't Waste My Time

The next morning House thought it would be within his best interests to avoid Cuddy as much as he possibly could, so he took the initiative not to come into work until noon the next day. Well, twelve thirty. Five. He wasn't really paying too much attention to the time though, so long as he was there for physical therapy by one and out of Cuddy's sight line for, well, ever, he was content.

So there he was, very late for work and shockingly early for his therapy session, and upon walking into the room he was greeted by a host of uncomfortable glances from the doctors and therapists who were aware of whom he was as well as a bright smile from the new intern.

"Hi there! I'm Jenny." The bubbly blonde grinned, walking up to him and extending her hand. "Are you here for a session?"

House rolled his eyes, "No, for kicks. I get off on watching disabled people flounder about."

Stacey's smile fell slightly, though her had to hand it to her, she was doing a pretty good job of keeping herself together. That comment would have sent Cuddy through the roof.

"You must be Doctor House."

"The one and lonely. I'm sorry, I meant only, unless of course sad gents with bum legs are your thing, because if they are then I am very, very lonely, and I just need a friend to talk to."

"Yeah." She nodded, her grin still present but thoroughly fake, "Not going to happen, Doctor House."

"Doctor House?" A small voice from behind them piped up. House turned as Jenny looked past him at the tiny girl in the wheel chair that had just been rolled in by a nurse. They both smiled slightly at the same time, and House gave the girl a nod, "Short circuit."

"I didn't actually believe you were going to come." She grinned, motioning for her nurse to push her closer to her friend. "Now we can really race!"

"Totally. Although I think you're at an advantage. You've got, you know. Wheels."

Lacie rolled her eyes, "I'm not in the chair when I'm exercising. You know, for being a smart person you say really dumb things."

Jenny giggled slightly and House shot her a glare, quickly shutting her up before he turned back to Lacie, "Do you just… not get sarcasm?"

"Yes, I do. That wasn't sarcasm. It was an attempt at humor. A poor one."

"Yeah, well, whatever."

"Nice comeback."

"Oh shut up." He sighed, exasperated. "Go do your stupid therapy."

"You go do your stupid therapy."

"Grow up."

"You grow up."

"Nice comeback."

She grinned and stuck her tongue out at him before being wheeled away to start her session, and Jenny smiled sadly as she shook her head. "You have a way with kids."

House rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders, "If you think I have a way with kids then you definitely would be an unfit mother."

"No, I'm serious." She sighed. "You made her… happy. She's been coming here for a while, and I've never seen her look like that. Not that she has much reason to be happy."

"Why not? She's alive." House suddenly smirked, "Thank you, Doctor House."

It was Jenny's turn to roll her eyes, "Yeah, if you were really her doctor you'd know why she has few reasons to be happy."

"…Enlighten me."

"Well… While she may regain the use of her arm… There's almost no chance of her ever being able to walk again."

House's face fell, and after a moment of thinking he furrowed his eyebrows together, "No. No that can't be right."

The once bubbly intern looked at him and shook her head, "Sad, isn't it? She's so young."

"No, you honestly have to be wrong. We… We caught it in time…"

"Doctor Cuddy said that when she coded her blood flow to her legs was cut off for too long, and that's why it will be difficult for her to walk again."

"Cuddy is a moron, that isn't why she won't be able to." He sighed and rubbed at his eyes. "She didn't present with a God damned fever…"

Jenny looked at him, full of concern, "Are you all right?"

"I'm a little pissed, actually. Had we caught her fucking disease sooner she would be fine within the year."

"Doctor Cuddy says she should be able to use her arm within-"

"Get the fuck off of Cuddy." He interrupted, quietly though, so Lacie wouldn't overhear them. "God damn it."

The young woman raised her eyebrow and looked almost offended, but figured that this guy honestly cared about the little girl, so she cut him a little slack. "She doesn't know yet."

"Well, why the fuck not?"

"Don't you think that news is a little bit heavy?"

"Don't you think it will be heavier after working her ass off for a year with no improvements?"

She bit her lip and looked over at the little girl who was struggling, even with the help of her therapists, to complete her exercises. House looked to the floor before shoving his hand into his pocket and muttering a "be right back" and heading out the door. Jenny raised an eyebrow at this, but went back to work, looking even more confused when House returned to the room no more than a minute later and walked up to her.

"So I called Lacie's doctor, since it is no longer I, and we both agreed it would be in her best interest for her to see 'em today rather than tomorrow."

"Really? Why?"

"Because they want to see what progress she's made. I said that I think her prognosis might be off, and that maybe she will be able to walk again, and because I was extremely impassioned about it, they agreed to take another look at her."

Jenny smiled and nodded, "Wow. That's really great! You know, I've heard stories that you're just this huge jerk, but you really have such a big heart."

He stared at her for a moment before nodding, "Yeah. I'm the fucking Grinch. Anyway, I was told I could sit in on the eval, so I'm just gonna wheel her on up there. Can you get her for me?"

"Yes, of course, just give me a minute."

"Great. I'll be right outside."

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Minutes later House was wheeling Lacie out of the elevator to the parking lot as quickly as he could, whistling as he went.

"Interesting." Muttered the little girl.

"What is?"

"The fact that you so easily stole me away from my therapists. Should I be concerned? You aren't going to kill me, are you?"

"Why would I kill you? I just saved your life like, three weeks ago."

"That's probably why I don't have a bad feeling about this." She nodded as they stopped at a car. "Is this your car? It's pretty."

"Um…" He replied, unlocking the shiny, silver Volvo. "It is for today."

"Oh great. So you're kidnapping me AND stealing a car?"

"I am not kidnapping you OR stealing a car. I'm borrowing both of you."

"I feel so much better now." She replied, rolling her eyes as he lifted her into the back seat. "Could you at least tell me where we're going?"

House frowned slightly and began folding up her chair so that he could put it in the trunk. "Um… Yogurtland."

Lacie looked up at him quickly, her smile falling off her face as her big brown eyes began to water. "Yogurtland?"

He nodded slowly, "We've gotta talk."

She returned his nod in kind, turning away from him slowly. "I'm sure it will be an exhilarating conversation. I like mochi and cookie dough on my yogurt."

"Yeah." He replied, putting the chair in the trunk and slamming it shut, "Have as much as you want."

And as he shut her door and slid into the front seat, Lacie let one single tear roll down her cheek. "I will."

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A/N: So, I hope you all see House's little stunt as more crazy than creepy, considering that is how I had hoped it came across . No kidnapping in him, I'm afraid


	29. Red Velvet

Risky Business

Disclaimer: I don't ownnnn.

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Chapter Twenty-nine: Red Velvet

"So that's it then?" The tiny redhead said over her large cup of yogurt topped with, as she had previously stated, more cookie dough and mochi than House had initially assumed could fit inside of her tiny body. He was proven wrong as she dejectedly shoveled more into her mouth, looking as though she was struggling not to cry.

"Well no," He replied slowly, running a hand through his hair and staring at his own cup of red velvet yogurt. Who had thought up red velvet yogurt anyway? What kind of sick person would do that to someone? Honestly, there is only so much awesome one could take in one cup, and that was pushing the limit. That, however, was not the point. "We think you'll eventually regain use of your arm, not for awhile but… It'll happen."

"Interesting."

House leaned down a little to get a better look at the little girl's face, "Interesting? That sucks."

"Well yeah, it does, but do you really think that's a phrase I often use?"

"It's a dire circumstance."

"Not really. It's just… it's really shitty."

"Nice terminology."

Lacie did her best to laugh softly as a few tears escaped her. "I'm sorry, I'm not really feeling myself at the moment."

"Doesn't bother me. In fact, I encourage your foul language."

More tears began to run down her freckled cheeks as she choked back a sob, "I don't want to be like this forever, Dr. House."

The good-ish doctor's face contorted at her words and her tears. He, after all, really had no idea how to really deal with children, much less a feisty little red head that was breaking down in the middle of Yogurtland.

Taking her there, he realized as people began to turn and stare at them, might have been a bad idea.

"There are options, kid-"

"Like what?"

Well shit, he didn't know. Damn, he was really terrible at this making kids feel better thing.

"Well… You know, Cuddy knows all of that stuff."

"You don't know?" She sniffled, her big brown eyes meeting his blue ones. "You don't know if I'll be stuck in a chair my whole life? Will I ever be able to ride my horses again? Will I ever run? Play basketball?"

"Well let's be honest, you're pretty short, even for a kid, so I think your basketball dreams would have been for naught anyway-"

"That isn't the point!"

House sighed deeply and rubbed at his temples, "I… I don't know Lacie. I really don't, and I'm… I'm so sorry."

She stared at him, sniffling slightly as she studied his pained face. After a brief moment she nodded and pushed her cup away from her, "Thank you, Doctor House. For… this. For telling me like an adult. I know I'm not but… Your honesty has been more helpful than all the other doctors and their heartless encouragement."

He raised an eyebrow to her and cocked his head, "Seriously?"

"Yes."

"You are in-fucking-credible. Pardon my French."

"Vous êtes excuse."

"Oh shut up." House rolled his eyes and stood up to throw away their empty cups. "You're too smart for your own good."

"Lot of good being smart has done for me so far."

"It'll do you a lot of good. I promise. Being smart is awesome. You'll make one hell of a lawyer."

"Doctor." She replied as he limped away, tossing the trash into the wastebasket.

"Yes, I am."

"No." She replied, wiping her nose with her sleeve. "Me. I'm going to be a doctor."

"Like your daddy dearest?"

Lacie smiled up at him through her watery eyes and shook her head. "No. More like you."

House smiled slightly and made a big show of rolling his eyes, attempting to look thoroughly annoyed, "God, little girls say the silliest things. Come on, we need to get you back to the hospital before Captain Cuddles and Private Peter find out you're missing."

The little girl giggled softly as House wheeled her towards the door. "I'm quite sure it hasn't been over looked."

And, of course, she was right. Her absence had not been overlooked, nor had his own, House was unfortunate to find as he situated Lacie in the car and started the trek back to the hospital, phone ringing with Cuddy's latest ring tone, _Sexy Back_, blaring loudly.

"You gonna answer that?"

"Don't think so. Didn't you know it's dangerous to talk on the phone while you drive? Not to mention we'll be back at the hospital within seven minutes."

"How precise." The child rolled her eyes as she stared out the window, "They're gonna be so mad at you, Dr. House."

"Yeah well, they can bite me. Well, Cuddy can, it'd be a little awkward if your dad did."

"You're gross."

He grinned and turned onto the street that would lead them straight back to the hospital before glancing at her in the rearview mirror, "I'm funny."

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**A/N**: So this is short, but I wanted to get an update in. Also, ONE MORE CHAPTER AND IT WILL FINALLY BE DONE! YAY!


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